WAKE UP!
February 23, 2011 11:00 am (Happy birthday... Steph)Have you ever been tired in body... tired in mind? Which one do you believe is worse?
For me, at least, being tired in body never seemed too bad. I mean, usually that would be that I have either worked or played hard and because of that I was weary. And, in either of those cases, soon, I would feel good again. So, it might be different for every other person who might read this... but, to me it is far worse to be tired in your own mind.
Years ago I saw a movie with Robin Williams and it was called, Awakenings. It was based on a true story and the premise was of a doctor (played by Williams) who finds himself on a ward with several patients who had experienced encephalitis, and for many of them this had happened decades before. Anyway, he finds a “cure” with the use of a new drug and these patients who beforehand had been comatose... begins to “wake up.”
Tragically for them this miracle drug did not produce a lasting effect: but, at least for awhile... they did wake up! Sometimes I feel like I have been sort of sleepwalking for the last 20 years or so. Not exactly like in Awakenings, nor is it the story of Rip Van Winkle: though his duration in absentia and mine were approximately the same number of years. And, of course, I have Virgil and he had Wolf: nonetheless, it is still a sort of sleep I have endured.
In writing this I do not mean to imply that during this time I have not seen and experienced many wonderful things... for that would be patently untrue! Our family has grown and I have seen three wonderful young men marry my girls. Each now have growing families of their own and I have experienced the exceeding great joy of little boys and girls when they see me coming crying out, “Grandpa!” (And then having them run into my arms... that is pretty spectacular!)
There has been many other things that have happened which has also caused me to have joy in my heart: however, I find in looking back that I haven't so much lived my life (by jumping into the fray as I used to do) instead, I have been letting life just come to me: but, I think... no more! I believe I will sleep again when I'm dead, but not until then.
Have you ever woken from a long dream and some of it was good and some of it was bad? You sort of lay there for awhile and sort things out in your mind: then you stretch your arms and legs and you feel the muscle and sinew grow taught... and you know you are doing this in preparation for your body to start moving as you prepare to greet a new day! Well, that's where I'm at right now, In my mind I'm sorting things out and also stretching my body to see what I am still capable of? I can not believe that simply through lack of caring I let myself become what I became... in both body and mind.
Each time I leave the gym now I find I am just a little bit stronger. I am not yet even lifting half what I did at 36... but I'm not done yet! I am not where I used to be, nor where I will be again... but I am no longer just going to sit around and wait for life to happen?
And, of course, getting into shape physically is only one part of what I am hoping to accomplish... perhaps not even the most important part? However, this is my starting point. Beyond that... we'll see? Also, in what I am trying to do with the rest of my life I am going to try and follow a particular dictum found in the Hippocratic Oath which is taken by doctors. At least the part that states to “never do harm to anyone.” I am not even sure that is possible?
Right now though I am taking baby-steps... with a short trek coming up next month. However, I might do as “last minute” did on his hike. He started a couple of days hike on the AT and five months later, and 13 states removed from his starting point: he finished!
If you read this and you have a dream, big or small... what are you waiting on: better get started!
You can always email me at clarkmatthews1@aol.com
posted by Robin Johnson @ 10:58 AM
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