Trying To Make Sense Of It All
I thought I would like to write as a followup to my last blog some thoughts I have had about being sick. In my last writing I spoke about some lessons I have learned while being ill. This time I would like to pen my thoughts on how I might have gotten this way.To be sure, in this lifetime, if I fully recover or do not, I will never know for certain why I got sick in the first place. Perhaps even in the life to come there will be far to many things to learn and know that would be more important than, "why?" So, maybe even then I would not know. However, for now I have some ideas. I freely admit they might not be right, but I am just trying to understand it.
In order to explain though I will have to back up several years. There was a time many years ago that I was fearless in the Lord. I felt I could do anything and He would take care of me. Eat or drink whatever I wanted, drive how I wanted, go into areas that others felt to be unsafe, and none of it bothered me. I always knew that nothing could happen to me apart from His will being involved... and that was enough.
Then, somewhere along the line, I began to change. I bought a handgun and got a concealed carry permit. I began to drive more sanely and now I even "buckle up," something I never did before. I'm more careful about the areas I go into, I buy only bottled water, I drink aloe vera juice and drinks with "probiotics" in them. In June it will be 15 years since I became a vegetarian.
And there are many other things of a similar nature. In and of themselves I suppose there isn't anything wrong with any of what I have done. But, maybe for me I began to show a pattern of having less faith in God taking care of me and more in myself for the things that I could do.
And even if I am not right about the reason I'm sick the fact still remains that I was much healthier when I paid no attention to what I ate or drank, than I am now.
This next part will probably be of no importance to anyone but me, and the thinking I used to arrive at my decision would take far more effort to write it out than I care to expend at this time: but if I get well I am going to start eating fish again. I have no desire to eat any other types of meat ever again... but I do plan if God gives me healing to celebrate, in part, by going to a fish dinner with my family.
Now if you read this and get the idea that you ought to be reckless with your life and health and God will be there to catch you when you fall, then you got the wrong idea from what I wrote. I am only saying that for me, I, without conscious thought or plan, might have been saying to Him, "Thanks, but I can take care of myself."
That was never my intention and I need Him always, but my newly found lifestyle might have come off that way. I hope that you, the reader, can reach a happy median: know that it is still right and good to take care of yourself, but understand that He is still the one who is in control of all things!
posted by Robin Johnson @ 9:42 PM
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