IT'S A SAD DAY TODAY ): MUCH LESS NOW :)
Tuesday March 19, 2013 4:40 am, 9:09 pmAfter I get in from work today and for the last time Virgil and I will get to do something that in the past both of us have enjoyed a few thousand times, we will take another car ride.
I slept with him on the floor in the living room last night because he is finding it increasingly difficult to even hop onto the couch or our bed. For several days I have been mostly lifting him up so he didn't have to... but this morning when I did he cried out a little, so I know for sure that he is now in pain and in my heart I know that neither of us want that.
It is 4:19 am and I just snapped the last picture I will take of him in my office. Deb had just fed him a little of the food he likes best, Alpo home-style canned food with veggies and that's why his mouth looks a little wet in the picture :) That is the type of food that is not supposed to be good for him but I guess that doesn't matter much now ): If he is up to it on the way to Dr. Moore's later today I will stop by Chiller's and get him an ice cream treat as well. (As soon as the picture I just took uploads to my email I will add it to this blog.)
Some time in the near future (hopefully) I will write a blog and tell everyone the important role that Virgil played in my deciding to ever write anything in the first place. For now I will just say that it was watching him play with another dog that caused me to have a thought... which in turn caused me (as I stood watching him play) to decide to write my first book. That book led to this blog and etcetera. Believe it or not, it was just that simple and that quick.
For a little while I will be taking a break from writing. During this time I pray that all those I love the best... and the most, will be safe and happy!!!!!!!
I am now going to post a short video that I took at Dr. Moore's as we were waiting to be called inside. In my heart I knew that this would be the last recording I would ever make and I had already planned on never watching it personally. I was just going to use it in a few days or weeks, or whatever time it took me to be able to write another blog. Then Dr. Moore looked at him and said if it was his dog he would take him home, "... and enjoy him!"
I had even worn my exceeding dark sunglasses even though the day did not warrant them as I knew I would be so very sad as I was carrying him to my car and I didn't want anyone to see.
So, I guess as far as being prepared I was... I'm just thankful that at least for another night my little guy is still here with us. Thanks for everyone's prayers. I honestly believe they were answered in a completely unexpected way. Virgil is not healed, but he is home tonight and I now have certain signs to watch for in Virgil so I can tell when he knows it's time. At least that way I won't have to live with the guilt and always second-guessing myself whether or not I did the right thing?
Scott's Funeral Home closed at five o'clock. Now I will have to call them and tell them at least not at this time. We do not own the house I live in and I didn't want to bury him in ground that someone else owns and I probably wont be living here a long time anyway. So, I was going to have him cremated. Again, thank God I do not have to do this... at least not yet.
Good night everyone... the honest truth is I am completely worn out tonight. It is not just not sleeping well. I think it is stress and not sure what I was supposed to be doing. One thing that is cute. You will see that Virgil was again pawing the ground... he was telling me he still had some fight, and some life left in him!
posted by Robin Johnson @ 4:40 AM
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