SPRINTS... LOBSTERS... ETC
Friday September 16, 2011 10:55 amA little while ago I finished my first iron-man sprint, and for my reward as I am typing this I am sipping a large (sugar-free) vanilla iced-coffee from McDonald's. My overall time was one hour, fifty minutes, and 40 seconds: My time was slower than I had hoped because my two transitions were extremely poor.
This morning was very chilly and as I came out of the water I could not immediately go to the bike because I had to dry and put on sweats and a hooded sweatshirt. Even with that on and averaging only (between) 15 to 17 miles an hour the wind on my face took my breath away. Now I know why most of these events are held in July or August. My problems were also exacerbated because of my asthma which is affected worse in cold air than in the summertime: regardless, I got through it and am glad the first one is behind me and I now look forward to next month and the trail at Burnheim. For that one, one of my sons-in-law (Bob) is going with me. This will be his third time on that trail and my second time.
After Burnheim and on my birthday I will do another mini-marathon (my third) in Louisville and then I will start training regularly for the iron-man in Muncie for next July.
I had only intended this morning to write and give an update on my first sprint, but, I have decided to write about my experiences as I was showering at the Y after I was done. I always like the showers at the Y because the water comes out so forcefully... much more pressure than an ordinary shower at home. However, this morning I forgot that I was at the southern Indiana Y and not the one in downtown Louisville.
Normally I would have been at the one in Louisville except with the closing of the bridge in New Albany the traffic leaving southern Indiana on the two remaining bridges is so great that in the morning you can expect a one hour back up, and I did not feel like getting mad enough to want to cuss today so I decided to stay on my side of the river.
The showers here are as forceful as the ones in Louisville... that isn't the problem. The problem is that they are all preset for water temperature and there are no individual controls. Furthermore, I can only deduce that they have been set by some old men who have lost all natural heat in their bodies and the water is set to boil.
I'm sure that I was quite a spectacle as at first I danced in and out of the cascading water trying not to get third-degree burns. At the same time I am crying out to any interested parties: “THIS WATER TEMPERATURE IS INSANE!!! After about the third time of me hollering this I am starting to develop an “amen corner” from a group of younger guys who have most probably already been scalded by these same waters. I notice though that none of the old men are saying anything. It is my “aha” moment! I think I know the culprits who must be responsible for these crazy hot settings!
Now, don't get me wrong... I like hot water for my showers: but, I don't like “boiling” hot water. Besides, after I cleanse with soap and water I also like to run nearly cold water and finish that way. Alas, there is no chance of that this morning. Within the first couple of minutes I begin to feel great empathy for every Maine lobster who has found themselves in the hands of a heartless chef. My entire body is now pink and starting to turn red! Then, after a couple of minutes of hopping in and out from under the spray an amazing thing happens... I find I am becoming like one of Heinzmann's frogs, the water is beginning to be tolerable: and, it's not because it is cooling because my skin is still darkening. I realize that I must be getting used to it!
For this next part I am sure my blog might only be interesting to the guys who read, as my best guess (though I have no way of knowing this for a fact) is that a girls shower room is probably not like one that is full of guys. Now, the first part would be true for guys or girls... and it is only this: every age, shape, and ethnicity is typically found in some state of dress or undress. But, for the second part... this might only be a “guy thing.”
Seldom have I ever been in a locker room full of guys without there being one or two of them who are telling jokes. And it's obvious that they are telling them to the room at large because they are directing them to no one in particular. I used to wonder why this always happens and then I think I figured it out. A sense of humor is a necessary thing in a room full of boys and men who are not wearing anything more than they were on the day they were birthed. It is quite a sight... I must admit.
I always have the same thought whenever I am presented with so much visual evidence such as a locker room full of nude guys. “Why in the world does any creature as lovely as a woman love any guy?” I think that will be my thought-for-the-day to all of my readers. (lol) "Why God... why"?
As I was standing by my locker and dressing I heard two jokes that are worth retelling... sadly, only one of them can I repeat. The one I can not tell though I will give you the punch-line, because without the joke itself being told there is no way to know what is being intimated. The punch-line... “I had all three, UNTIL FATHEAD WAS BORN!”
Now, to the joke I can repeat. A ship's captain ordered a Navy seaman to sweep the anchor chain. After awhile of being in the sea these huge chains get all types of debris attached to them and a job like this can typically take all night to accomplish. Dutifully, after the large chain was stretched out on deck the young sailor began. But, each time he started to sweep a large Tern would fly down and land on the link he was trying to sweep and he would grab it and toss it back into the air. But, to his dismay he found that all night long every time he grabbed it and tossed it away it kept returning, and he got almost nothing done. The next morning the captain roared: “Sailor, didn't I order you to sweep that anchor chain?”
The young sailor replied, “Yes sir! But, all night long all I got done was tossing a Tern and I didn't get to sweep a link!” Now... you are supposed to go... “ha ha ha.”
Well, there you have it... my morning at the Y. I think I will give you one more visual image for the day. Before I do that I need (for those who only know me through my blog and not personally) to explain something before I relate the next story from this morning.
While it is patently true that I mock and make fun of people... I NEVER mock someone who really does have a problem: be that physical, mental, or emotional. I just like to pick on people who are ordinary... just like everyone else. To me that seems to be okay. Is that wrong? (lol)
Anyway, this is one of those stories that I tell without any sense of mocking or trying to poke fun. The showers at this Y are open and there are eight shower-heads. They are side-by-side, but they are far enough apart that there is still plenty of room between without any one being too close as they shower. BUT... this morning there was an older guy in there who was the largest man I have ever seen in real life. Or, at the very least the largest guy I have ever seen without any clothes. It really was very sad!
I swear I tell you this with no exaggeration whatsoever. His belly was so ponderous that when he walked it was below his knees! You might not think that is even possible... before this morning I too might have thought the same thing? But, it really is true. Anyway... I just felt that all of my friends might like to have that as a mental image for their day! (lol)
posted by Robin Johnson @ 1:14 PM
<< Home