Wednesday, July 30, 2014

UNCLE REMUS

Wednesday July 30, 2014 7:33 am

I learned something about myself yesterday and it is just this...I don't like to argue. That might seem strange for anyone reading this to imagine that I've only just now learned this about myself? I suppose though I have always confused (in my mind) the fact of liking to debate with being a person who is argumentative. At times I still enjoy debate, but I really don't like arguing and especially if it lends itself to hurt feelings.

This morning I thought of the story of Brer Rabbit and his very own Tar-baby. However, my own little Tar-babies I keep finding in my life are not built by others to ensnare me... rather I keep looking for them on my own... crazy huh???

Yesterday... after the aforementioned argument, I was sort of tossed into a briar patch where I quickly extricated myself from my entanglement and scurried on my way, and under my breath I was saying... you can't catch me :)

I do know the "why" behind my actions even if I can do nothing about it... at least I think it helps knowing. Because I do know why I do the things I do I'm not driven to some bar-stool in a crowded room of lost souls always staring at the bottom of an empty glass. They keep muttering to themselves, "Why?" I suppose their lament is how their lives ended up in smoky rooms night-after-night searching for answers in a place where they can never be found. Nope, I know... and because of that knowledge, soon, (after licking my wounds for a few days) I will begin a diligent search for my next little "Tar-baby."

In the last stanza of a particular poem Cullen wrote:

I have no will to weep or sing.
No least desire to pray or curse;
The loss of love is a terrible thing;
They lie who say that death is worse.

Yep, knowing why I keep finding Tar-babies in my life does not change the fact that I keep looking for them. So, in a sense, I suppose I am worse than the drunk on the stool, because he, or she, does not know why they are the way they are? Me, I know... and maybe that is the saddest thing of all :(  

  


posted by Robin Johnson @ 7:34 AM