SECOND POST... "TIME"
Saturday May 17, 2014 8:42
pm
I'm sitting at my desk in
the early evening hours of a mostly silent house. Even the dogs are
soundly sleeping. I just turned my hourglass over again to watch what
is unwatchable... time passing. Tomorrow, had Mom lived she would be
87 years old: that's unimaginable to me, I will forever only see her
at 59. In '86 she had just celebrated her 59th birthday on the 18th
of May and then in just a few weeks on June 14th she would be dead.
By this time she had already been in the hospital for several weeks
and just a few days after her birthday she was moved to intensive
care, and she would remain there for the next 18 days and nights
before she died.
Christian school was
nearing the end of that year and each day at the close of school and once my other
church obligations were honored I would drive to the hospital in
Charleston and keep an all-night vigil in the waiting room outside
her door. It seems like people who are gravely ill die most often at
night and I didn't want to be away if that were to happen. I had messed up a few years before and I had left my dad in a hospital room to die all by himself... and I didn't want to fail again in that same way!
Probably
at least ten of those 18 long nights whatever nurse was on duty would
come outside to wake me if I had fallen asleep in the chair. They were all nice and they would politely ask if
I wanted to come in and say “Goodbye” as it looked like she was
passing. (I learned to hate that word “goodbye' and am loathe to
use it even unto this day. However, dutifully I always arose and went
in to her room. Each time up until the last day she fooled them and
would revive to see another morning.)
I certainly didn't sleep
much those several weeks as I still kept my obligations at church
during that time also. I had by long habit made certain to memorize each
of the students prayer requests they daily asked so that every
morning about an hour before school began I would go to the classroom
and stand behind each and every student's desk chair and one-by-one I
would pray for them by name... and remind God what so often they asked
of Him. I would gently prod Him and remind Him that He needed to show
Himself faithful to them. (Of course hindsight is 20/20 and looking
back I don't know if any good ever came of it at all?)
My dad also died at 59:
however, he and Mom died 7 years apart. Life passes so quickly. In
less than 6 months I will be the same age both of them were when they
died. I don't fear death really... at least if He would allow me to
sleep for a bit before He awakens everyone to judgment. I do fear
though missing out on certain things in life I have longed for, and
actually those things I wanted more than life itself!
I'm not even altogether sure why I'm thinking about all of this now... I suppose it's just the dates
and everything else. Last month on April 8 was when my dad died in 1979 and then
one day later was when my beloved friend Virgil died in 2013. So, I
guess that's why yesterday afternoon found
me digging through all ofmy papers and getting everything out so I
could rewrite my Last Will & Testament.
Certain legal matters
have changed things since I wrote my first one in 2008. Also some insurance policies have increased and
certain other things along those same lines... so it was needed. Then, while I was working on it I was reminded that my friend was hurting because of sickness in her family...
so I guess I once again began considering the brevity of life.
One good thing though did
come of me scavenging through my closet yesterday. I found a poem
that a few years ago I had written for a friend and I'm going to
include it in this blog as it has to do with the passage of time. If
any readers are new to my blog and this is the first time you will be
reading anything like this that I have written I promise you will never mistake
me for Tennyson, or Browning. lol My poetry is more along the lines of the poet who writes his prose on bathroom walls. You know, "Roses are red, Violets are blue... etc. :)
Well, to any readers I'm going to include a picture I just took of my hourglass as a reminder to you that life is swift. After that I will add my poem and then I will quit writing for the evening. Hazel, one of our young granddaughters celebrated her 7th birthday at our house this past Thursday. About an hour ago we left her house after enjoying some cake and ice cream at a party for her. I tried to get it in early as I've not been eating anything after 7:00 in the evening. I finished at 6:58... whew. Oh, I guess her birthday was just another thing that reminded me of how quickly time goes by :(
TIME IS NOT MY FRIEND
There's
springtime... so sweet, pure, and clear,
Yet it
whispers lies which are too distant to hear:
E'en as
the verdant fields are teeming with life,
The lie is
believing that there'll never be strife.
Springtime
belies that the long winter is past,
Yet we
know we're mocked for this too won't last:
The Blue
Jays with their happy songs fill the air,
And
everything is right, for my darling... who's fair.
There is
Chicory, Yarrow, and even Butterfly Weed,
And all of
this magic is from God's tiniest seeds:
The air is
redolent with perfume from on high,
Mark time,
for soon this will disappear with a sigh.
The air is
now hot, where have the cool breezes fled?
The answer
I know, but tis this thought which I dread:
Has time
marched on while I've frolicked and played?
Alas my
dear it's true... but be strong and unafraid.
For
there's joy in summer... as well as spring,
And there
is this fact of which I'm not boasting:
If a
season has past... then I've grown older,
Wiser I
hope... and both stronger, and bolder.
The smell
of fresh cut grass, and a warm summer shower,
Things
that are wonderful, even as a late-blooming flower:
There are
many sounds of summer, like children at play,
And
squeals of delight, as the ice-cream truck makes its way.
The air is
now cooler... in the morning and the night,
Betimes
I'd like to flee, but where to take flight?
Another
season is now here and dead leaves are falling,
Yet life
still abounds... great news... my team is calling.
A
deafening roar, a chant, and a raucous sound,
A stadium
is the place where I'll be found:
I'll be
the girl holding hands with my one true-love,
And we'll
cheer for our team from high up above.
It's time
for sweaters, blankets, and the fireplace glow,
I'll hold
tightly to my dearest, for together we know:
That this
too will pass... in but the blink of an eye,
Is that a
sad thought... perhaps... but I'll not cry.
For I know
a truth... still to come is another season,
Alas, it's
not my favorite and I know well the reason:
It's the
last stage of life, having lived... now we must die,
Therefore,
live life to the fullest is what we should try.
Though
winter is now here and I'm caught in its icy blast,
Is it the
cold in my bones making me long for the past?
Could it
really be true that just three short seasons ago,
My life
was so much fun... as I hurried... to-and-fro.
Giving no
thought to the season, the time, nor the day,
We just
lived life and loved, ere... it's the only way:
Therein
lies the great secret and the way to succeed,
Just live
day-by-day, and never... never concede!
I am now
looking forward to that ice and the snow,
Because I
know it's not to be dreaded... as onward I go:
For there
are still places to be and much people to see,
Snowball
fights with loved ones... and stories, told with glee.
***********************************
As the
last snow is falling and there's no more laughter... nor tears,
And if God
grants a few seconds to look back through the years...
as I'm
remembering you... here is a truth that is sublime,
I'll be
counting it all joy to have known you, ......
my dearest
friend in time.
posted by Robin Johnson @ 8:42 PM
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