IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN!!!!!!!
Monday January 4, 2016 12:35 pmIf I had known it was the last time I was gonna hold you in my arms, I would have held on tighter. ~ Taylor
The above quote is the entire third stanza of a short five stanza poem written by a guy remembering his girlfriend who tragically committed suicide. Probably every person reading this could relate to the first four stanzas of his poem... and a sad few could possibly relate to the last verse as well? Although death brings a finality to all we hold dear, there are myriad other ways to lose someone we love besides dying. Because that is true I also wondered if there really was anything we could have done differently to have affected the outcome?
That last thought kept me awake last night wondering if things are more or less already set in our lives, regardless what we do? You know, the whole Que Sera, Sera idea of life. Yet, competing with the idea of freewill, which I believe, there is also the thought of how much freewill do we really have?
Keep in mind that even if we are completely free... 100%, are we really free? Let me explain. From birth it seems our personalities are set. Some babies are shy, some outgoing, some passive, some aggressive, etc. etc. etc. Therefore, is it not already true that because of innate qualities each has at birth that everyone is still limited because of our very nature!
Here is just one example for the reader: after this see if you you can't extrapolate similar situations from your own life, or observations from another person's life and then ask yourself... are we really "free"... that is to make our own choices? Or, are our choices already set in the stars, because of our personalities given to us as we are born?
Imagine a shy backward person, and they have been that way all of their lives. Now, imagine you are an outgoing person and you likewise have been that way all of your life. Finally, imagine you two are close friends.
As an extrovert you witness your shy friend get walked all over by someone, and they say nothing. You witness this and you say to the person, "You know, we all have freewill and you do not have to take that!"
And they say, "It's just not in me to speak up and say anything." And you can not for the life of you imagine being that way... because you would definitely have stood up for yourself in that same situation.
Which means, neither one of you have any choice in how you react in a given situation, even though freewill is real, because it's been predetermined for you and at birth the personality you have will be the same one you carry your entire life!
Now, why do you think such thoughts would cause any person to lose sleep? It is because of thoughts such as... could I, or you, have done anything differently in life that would have changed the outcome?
I think the easiest way to express this idea that we really have no choice is to imagine a scenario of two lovers (a guy and a girl) parting for the last time... and they both know it is the last time!
You also have to imagine that it is a complicated love and certain circumstances makes choice difficult. One more thing, it's also important (for this story) to believe that each truly loves the other, and dearly.
The guy says, "If you love me, then please just go away with me... please!"
And the girl answers, "I do love you, with all of my heart... but I can't!"
If you read this story and believe that freewill exists... is it still possible that freewill does not exist at the same time! Keep in mind the story of the introvert who couldn't speak for themselves and the extrovert who couldn't hold back given the same situation. Neither one really had freewill to act in any way but in the way which they did.
Fast forward from the story of two lovers parting for the last time to the poem I began with: now, one imagines, if that last time together I had only held her longer, gazed into her eyes more deeply, kissed her better, said to her, "I love you", just one time more... would it have made a difference???
IF??? IF ONLY??? I don't know... maybe none of us are really free to act in any way other than how we do: freewill, might well only be a myth?
Still, I think it is those "what if's" that causes sleep to flee.
posted by Robin Johnson @ 12:35 PM
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