The Treasure Hunt

Thursday December 4, 2014 10:01 pm

For a very long time I've known why numbers have played an important part in my thinking. At least in part it's because I have been able to rationalize and reduce many of my life's decisions (important and otherwise) to a simple LCD. I try and think of it as a “happiness factor.” In other words, what would be the greatest good to the most people?

Today, I did that again. 339 days ago about this time of evening I was standing among a crowd of people in downtown Louisville and everyone was having fun, and in my mind I planned something nearly a year into the future. Within the first couple of days back to work either the 2nd or 3rd of January I scheduled ten days off work: from just before Christmas until the 3rd of January 2015. Then, sometime this past June I booked a nice room at the New York Marriott Downtown, and last month I reserved a 4 wheel drive jeep from a car rental agency. (I did that just in case I might have to drive through a lot of snow going farther east and north.) This afternoon after I got home from the store I called the airport and canceled my car... and about five minutes before I decided to write my blog I called and canceled my room reservation as well.

Again today, as in times past I reduced my decision to simple math: i.e., finding and applying the LCD (lowest common denominator). A few days ago when I first learned about something I had that sinking feeling that has often been described as 'someone walking over my grave.' I guess even then without having to really think it through I knew my trip was over a few weeks before it had started.

I began this by stating that I really am not complaining... and I'm not. It is because I have been able to do some fun things this year other than just working. Still though... I think I'm going to miss the fun I would have had during the trip.

My mathematics this time was a ratio of 8:1, with me being represented as the 1... of course. So, in a sense it was a no-brainer. I ought to be thankful though that I haven't completely sinned away my conscience; for I briefly entertained the idea of acting like I was unaware of something which was needed and just go on my trip anyway. That lasted about 30 seconds as I fantasized about starting out and some of what I was planning on the trip. Then, I experienced that feeling I earlier had alluded about 'grave walking' and I knew even then that I would not be going. However, it was not until a few hours ago that I did that 'right thing' again and because of that action I was done with anymore planning. So, I canceled the car, the room, and now... I have one more call to make. That one I hate! But, I will do that as soon as I post this blog :(

I'm often reminded of a quote by Zachary Scott who famously said, “As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.” So, I now have just one more regret to add to my growing list in life!

My true hope though by taking this action is that my regret will be lessened by the present knowledge that the load will be a little lighter for others to carry. (I still have one thing yet to do that I don't want to do... and because of that I'm going to stall for another couple of minutes and include one more quote.) This quote I have often used in these blogs and usually... even as now it's when I've faced something which has disappointed me. This quote is so very good that I paused long enough to stand up and turn my hour glass over to remind me again that life is passing second-by-second.

Fr. Alfred D'Souza ~ “For a long time it had seemed that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

A big sigh :( Yep, these obstacles are my life! I just glanced up... and the small grains of sand are still falling... still falling.