The Treasure Hunt

Monday June 25, 2012 10:40 pm

If my office is an extension of myself... I am truly weird. And, I must admit that it has to be as I am the one who has collected the odd assortment of items that I am looking at. The next several days will be more hectic than usual because I still have school, work, and now, the care of all the dogs this week. Because of that a smart person would not waste any of his time just looking at the peculiar things in his office... then, taking the necessary time to blog about it? But, I never said I was very bright.

In a sense I am blogging because of an assignment I did first thing this morning after I got in from walking Virgil and Stella for their... ahem, “morning constitutional.” I write it like that just in case Stella, who is staring intently at me as I type, has indelicate sensitivities? Virgil, as a guy could probably care care less than nothing about what I type... but he is sound asleep by my feet. I suppose I ought to clarify that I am only joking about Stella & Virgil knowing what I am typing... especially since I am writing about personal weirdness. On the other-hand, I try not to give too much thought what anyone thinks of me anyway. So, for the sake-of-argument, let's say I'm serious.

It will be a stretch for me to get in everything this week that I am needing to get done. This morning at 6:15 I had to let the three (outside) dogs out of their pens in the garage and allow them to get some exercise before I put them up in their outdoor runs. For a breakfast snack I gave them toast, with butter and cheese. It's probably a good thing Deb never reads anything I write: else, she would hate to know what all they get to eat whenever I am taking care of them. Although, I think that is why all of them get excited when they see me! (And girls... or Preacher, you can't tell her either.)

Virgil and Stella just had some chicken (boiled) with pasta, rice and peas. There really is a reason why I just wrote and told what my dogs had for breakfast. It is just that taking care of all of them is time consuming. So, after I got in from walking my two inside dogs I sat down to try and get in one assignment before I had to leave for work... and that is what prompted me to write this blog.

In this particular class I had an assignment to take an online personality test and to publish the results in a discussion board post. The instructions did not say to do this, but I waited about 30 minutes after taking the test the first time and I took it again. I just wanted to see (because the answers and the assessment is subjective) if the results were the same, or nearly so? In both examples, I, according to them, am in a 2% to 5% group (ENTP). Now, that doesn't necessarily mean 5% in a good way either. It could be that I am in the bottom-dwelling 5% and not in any higher echelon group. The score did cause me to wonder which end of the spectrum I might be at. And that, in turn, caused me to start looking at the environment which I created: hence, my office.

Thankfully, I have gotten rid of a lot of things I had: else, my assortment would even be more odd. Those who only know me by my writing and have never been to my house, I want to explain something. If you picture “my office” please do not imagine it is anything fancy. It is just that there happened to be an extra room in the back of the house and I converted it into an office.

The latest addition to my room is an 80 pound glass and metal conductor by the Lapp Company. It set for several days (un-bought) in a second-hand store for the amazing price of only $6.99. Every other (normal) person passing by only saw an antique electric conductor... worth nothing. Whereas... I saw “lamp” as soon as I saw it! As of this moment it is now securely bolted through the inkwell on an antique library table I picked up at auction a few years ago... for... wait for it... $2.00! That's right, another man's junk is my treasure! The conductor is the very same type that you see on huge power plants alongside the highways. They are able to carry great amounts of current through them. I do have some normal things I guess: I have a few pictures on my wall and desk: fairly normal stuff I suppose. My guitar hanging on the wall, nothing abnormal with that. An old Army cot... again not certifiable items.

I do know that my office would be a nightmare for any person who is stylish or into themes. Laying beside my chair is a gold Zero Halliburton briefcase that I won in a sales contest several years ago. At one time as I attended speaking engagements and meetings I guess it wasn't out of place for me to carry it. Today though, I would never have a reason to keep it with me. I do have a couple of my prized possessions I keep locked in it.

I have an old wooden tea box on my desk with 8 separate compartments. I have collected many dozens of pins, coins, and odd pieces of memorabilia to give to the grandchildren when they are old enough to want to play with the pieces.

In front of me I have an even dozen fossils I have found while out searching the local fossil beds... “shh” don't pass that last bit of information to anyone. It's sort of funny, but they don't like it when I take pieces with me that I have dug out of the ground.

I have a large piece of ????? I also dug this 94 pound piece of metal... rock... meteorite... slag... who knows out of the ground several years ago. I don't know what it is: but I like the looks of it, so it's in my office.

I have two large beaker bottles sitting atop my book shelf. Imagine an old movie with Boris Karloff... perhaps, The Bride of Frankenstein? Remember the mad scientist, Dr. Pretorius and his awesome laboratory. Do you have that mental picture? Okay, my room looks nothing like that, except I do have two large beaker bottles I took from an abandoned factory (:

I used to like it whenever a show would cancel and I was free for a couple of hours before my next appointment. Many times I would head to old Louisville and search through the long-abandoned factories that litter Louisville's west side district. Some of those old building have been abandoned for 20 years or more. Picture the blighted side of Detroit after the auto industry began to die... that is old Louisville. Now, to me what is amazing is that some of them, to this day, still have old things left behind in them.

A few years ago I was trekking through one of them and I had passed through what was apparently an old locker room and dining area. It was huge! In its heyday this business had employed hundreds of workers. (This same business is still in operation today but they moved to the Indiana side of the river.) In the main rooms there was enough ambient light to see okay... but in the basement area where I was searching, it was fairly dark. Ahead of me I saw the stairs and I picked up my pace and stepped on someone! I had seen something on the floor several feet in front of me but I figured it was just some clothes that years before had been discarded. It turned out to be some drunk guy and he screamed at me when I stepped on his leg.

Normally I am not a person who scares easily... but this really gave me a start! I mean, a bag of clothes hollering at me! After I realized what had happened I regained my composure. I laughed about that for several days every time I thought of the old sot.

Anyway, on that same scavenger trip and on the fourth floor of that old building is where I found my two beakers. I have a horse made of leather that sits beside my Eiffel Tower clock... don't ask. I have an assortment of staffs for hiking leaning against one wall. One of them was given to me by a friend and I wouldn't take a thousand dollars for it. (I used it on my short hike with Virgil on the AT.) I have some Mickey and Minnie Mouse items sitting in different spots. There is a dragon on my desk, inches from my keyboard. It sets beside an old Roman coin in a frame that is from the days when Christ walked the Earth.

I have a pencil box with an inscription on it from Ernest Hemingway, “The writer must write what he has to say. Not speak it.”

I have an hour-glass I bought several months ago, it was purchased to replace one I had owned for many years. Beside it is a small juke-box radio/lamp with an eye pod (sic) dock I use to listen to music as I sit and type. Across from me is a large framed picture of me and Virgil. It was given to me as a gift when I was first published. Several different people had read the book and in their own hand they wrote their thoughts about it. I have a large dream catcher on the wall, also given me as a gift from a friend... it doesn't work ):

On another wall I have a very old picture by Robert Wood. It depicts woods exactly like what I would like to find and hike through... they are pristine! I haven't even talked about my gas pump, Superman mug, or my several old steins. Anyway... I guess I'm just weird.

The sad thing is I can't simply be eccentric. I mean, that would have a certain Je ne sais quoi quality to it. The problem is if you are quirky or weird you have to be independently wealthy to be considered eccentric: else, you're just crazy.

So, here I sit... a crazy guy surrounded by some junk I have collected over the past several years. Well, I guess I'll quit this foolishness and start working on an English assignment: UGH