DO YOU LIE TO YOUR DOCTOR ??? AND AN "UGLY DOG STORY!"
Thursday September 20, 2012 5:34 pmI don't want to give anyone a false idea about me... so, when I say I almost never lie... that is true. However, even though I seldom lie... I am still not a good person at all. It is just that lying is not one of my "things." Although, I have so many other vices that if I were only a liar I would probably still be a better person then some of the other things that I do. In fact, almost all of the lies I tell are mostly by omission. In other words, I lie by obfuscating and not telling the whole truth. Sometimes I lie and I am not passive about it. Some of those lies that I actually tell, I try to think of them as "good lies." Hilarious... huh? Those are the ones I tell and in my heart I do it so I can spare another person's feelings. I know it still doesn't make it right... but, I suppose I justify those in my mind because I think I am helping someone else out? Now, that brings me to the first question I asked with my title.
The other day I had a dentist appointment and a young, very pretty, dental hygienist came in to do my teeth, and we began talking. One of the questions she asked me, I have to tell you that I sat there and looked into her eyes and unblinking I told her a big, fat, lie. (I'm not altogether sure what a big, fat lie is? I think, at least for me, it is when you tell someone something and there is absolutely no good reason to lie... the truth would have been just fine.)
She asked me how much coffee do I drink? I said... quite a bit. She asked about soft drinks? I said... seldom. She asked how often I brush? I said... several times a day. So far... all my answers were true. Then she asked, "How often do you floss?" I paused... but only for a heartbeat before I told her my big, fat, lie! Looking directly and unflinchingly into her very pretty eyes I casually said, "All the time." LIE... LIE.. AND LIE AGAIN! The honest truth is, I have never flossed in my life! Honestly, I know... mark me up as "plenty stupid" but I just cannot get the hang of dragging that little string between my teeth.
Now you would imagine that as soon as she started cleaning my teeth she would know I lied... right? Wrong! I guess my saving grace is that I do brush several times a day and I suppose it helps that I use a vibrating toothbrush? I don't know? All I know is that after she was done she remarked that I do a really good job in keeping up with my flossing (yeah right) and my brushing because even though I drink a lot of coffee she couldn't find stains on my teeth.
Anyway, here is my question. Do you lie to your doctor, and (or) dentist?
Now, my ugly dog story. Yesterday I came home for lunch so I could walk Virgil and Stella. After they had made their toilet I sat on the front stoop and watched them stretch out in the warming afternoon Sun. I first looked at Virgil. Though in "dog years" my little guy is really getting up there he is still a fine specimen of an animal. His chest is thick, his legs are corded with muscle and his flanks are well-defined. He has flecks of gray in his muzzle, but he is still mostly black, and his ears look like black velvet! Then, there is Stella (: The honest truth, though I wouldn't have the heart to do it... she could easily win an ugly dog contest... easily!
The Shar Pei breed of dog, can be a beautiful animal: however, poor Stella is only 1/2 Shar Pei and the other 1/2 she is Redbone Coonhound... poor, poor, girl ):
In addition to that unsightly mix she has myriad skin conditions. So, she is almost hairless from her rear to mid-chest. Her tail, if I took a picture of her tail only... honestly, you could not tell if it was from a dog or an armadillo: no joke. Her skin is so loose she can almost turn herself around inside her own body... again, not joking. (They were bred this way so as they were fought, other dogs could never get a good bite on them to hurt any vital organs.)
Her legs are scaly and they look an awful lot like the legs of an elephant... again, no joke. Her rear end... looked at by itself you would think it belongs on a sow, not a dog. Her breed is prone to soft tumors, thankfully non-cancerous... but growths nonetheless. So, she has many of these soft pouches everywhere. My vet says the risk is far greater in trying to remove them... then to just leave them alone. (If she were a person and not an animal, her occupation would likely have been a sideshow attraction in a carnival... again, not kidding.)
Shar Pei's were also bred to have heavy skin to cover their eyes, this was done so dogs couldn't get to an eye in a fight. The reason I told you that last part is she has one redeeming quality... it is her eyes, they are warm and a beautiful brown! However, usually they are hard to see. So, when I am (with my eyes) picking her apart... I usually say her name in an excited voice so she will force her eyes to open wide as she expectantly looks at me. Then I can honestly say, "Good girl... you're very pretty!" She does have one other redeeming quality, she's a very sweet dog also (:
Well, now I have to start working on my school work: I have put off doing it all week long (:
posted by Robin Johnson @ 5:34 PM
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