The Treasure Hunt

I will tell about a couple of different things that have happened in the past (as examples) which although they are not common... they are not completely unusual either. About 18 months ago and within a couple of weeks of having transferred to the store I am presently at I was approached by a young girl who was probably in her thirties? She was attractive and we talked for a little bit as I was trying to find out what it was that she needed? I could tell by the way she was beating around the bush that there was something else on her mind. Finally, she leaned in sort of close and lowered her voice and said what she was really looking for was something she could hook up to her toilet so she could, “... wash a butt.” So, for the next several minutes I found different hoses and fittings that I thought would work for 'butt washing'. (Hahahaha) After she left I thought to myself... welcome to the plumbing department :)

Recently I had a young black guy holler out and ask me if I could help him in the aisle the toilets are in... I told him I would be right there. As soon as I showed up, and in a loud voice with animated facial and hand gestures he wanted to know if we sold a toilet that went “whooooosh” when it flushed? He said, “I don't know if you have ever been in jail or not... but I want a toilet like they have there that goes, 'whooooosh' when it flushes.” Of course with his hands he is also showing what that sound means as the toilet is flushing. So, for the next several minutes I tried to find a toilet for him that flushes like they do in prison :) I only wrote about those two to show that in retail you are likely to run into all kinds of people. However, at least for me personally... Thursday was the guy who took the cake for special weirdness.

At work there are certain pieces of equipment that sales specialists are supposed to acquire license for as they are needed to assist customers. One of the pieces I operate is called an order-picker. It is a type of forklift that allows the operator to ride on a moving platform to the top of our highest racking and retrieve merchandise that is too large or too heavy to be brought down on a 17' ladder. (I think most of the sales people in the store have a license for this machine, except those few who are afraid of heights.)

This machine is very handy but there are ceratin requirements in using it (during store hours anyway) that make it cumbersome and time consuming to operate. First, every person operating it has to put on a full-body harness so if something would cause you to fall from the top no one would be hurt because the tether works like a seat belt, and a person's fall would be slowed before they could hit the floor. That is a good thing, but still time consuming. Also, aisle blockers have to be set up in two aisles: the one you are working in and the one that is adjacent to the aisle where the merchandise is being pulled. In addition, an escort (spotter) is also needed so it can be driven through the store. (I am writing all of this for a reason... that way you will understand why I used a ladder in the first place.)

Thursday we were very busy, and a lot of people were waiting and I had been working with this one guy for the past 30 minutes. Finally, everything was pulled but he decided he wanted one more thing: a 49” vanity from the top shelf. In reality it is a little too big and heavy to bring down a ladder, at least for me. However, I did it anyway because the order-picker would have just taken way too long. So, I put it on his cart and I was now back at my computer and processing this last item when he said, “I like your arms... they're strong.” WHAT??? I mean, what do you say to something like that?

When I write this next part I don't want any person to imagine that I think I am smooth with girls... I'm not. But, with the rare exception of a couple in my life I have always been comfortable around girls, and whenever they say anything I am at ease conversing with them. This though was totally different. Do you know what I said... nothing! However, and this was hilariously stupid on my part. I found myself nodding my head like I might if someone had just said it's cold outside. Nod, meaning: “... yep, it's cold outside.” In reality I was dumbfounded, because I am never prepared for something like that.

So, I am still mute with my head doing a bobble-head deal and I am trying to figure out if this guy is homosexual? I mean, he was overdressed but sometimes people come in from other jobs still dressed up. Anyway, several seconds have passed and I am now figuring he is a young guy and probably just a mama's boy and he doesn't know anything about boundaries between guys. I mean, I could never even imagine one guy telling another guy he likes his shirt... let alone a body part!

Then, he speaks again... no doubt now: HOMOSEXUAL!!! This time I finally found my voice and I told him that I wasn't interested. Now, for the last dumb thing I almost did! I actually had to catch myself as I started to say, “... but thanks anyway!” (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) In the past whenever someone offers to do something for me and I don't want it I finish by saying something like, "... no, but thanks anyway," or "I appreciate it... but no," etc.

I did make a mental note to myself... two actually. Start wearing a wedding band. Maybe these guys see someone my age and figure I am not married so I must be light on my feet? The second thing, maybe ... stay off ladders! lol

This video shows two places that are pretty popular with some people :)

Well, I have to go out in a few minutes and do a little shopping. I need to find some special vegan fare I have been reading about. Then, after that I will be on my computer until probably late tonight as I still have some schooling to catch up on. I hope all who reads this has a great night!