Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Some Lessons Learned

December 31, 2008: "Out with the old and in with the new." In many ways this has been a very hard year for me. In recent memory certainly my least favorite, yet I have learned some valuable life-lessons from my experiences. And in a short while I will try to share those with you.
First though, I would just like to say, "Hello" to everyone. It has been several months since I have written anything new and I have decided to go ahead and write again and catch any interested readers up on some things that have been happening in my life.
I am aware that I might be the only interested party in what I am going to write... and that is okay. If this helps none other than myself, at least I will get some benefit from it. However, some of what I have learned over the last several months might, in fact, offer a measure of help for anyone who likes to learn a helpful lesson without having had to strive (or study) to have learned the lesson.
At this point in time I feel like Scrooge, just before he is going to be visited by the ghost of Christmas future. He is in turmoil as he knows that his immediate future may portend his own demise. Yet, the lessons he has learned from his previous two visitors, why did he learn those lessons if he is not going to be around to put them to use?
I am not certain how long this particular blog will be. I have some thoughts that I want to express and I sincerely hope it will be helpful to someone. I remember an elderly man in church (many years ago) standing up and beginning to speak. He caught my attention by starting with something like this. "It has taken me my whole life to learn a very valuable lesson."
I thought, "Wow." I want to hear this. It really didn't matter to me what it was, I just thought if I could learn something in a matter of seconds that it had taken an elderly man a lifetime to learn, that was a real bargain. This is rather sad to admit, but I honestly do not remember what his lesson was: evidently it was more valuable to him than it was for me.
The reason I am telling that story to you is that you might have the same reaction upon learning my lessons that I did with his. They were immeasurably more valuable for him, a man who had learned them the hard way, then for the hearer only: in that particular case, me. Nonetheless, I honestly hope there will be something in what I write that will help you in the future.
A little more than a year ago I started to get sick. At first nothing more than your garden-variety sore throat. That led to a deep and persistent cough. I will try to give you and idea of how hard the cough was. After one rough bout I ended up in an emergency room to have my ribs x-rayed to see if they were broken: seriously
After several weeks and a number of prescriptions the cough began to gradually subside: but, the sore throat persisted: one month, then two, three... for more than a four month period I had a severe sore throat. For all of this time I was under the care of a doctor. It wasn't as if I was not being seen by someone. Then, in April, I started spitting up bright red blood.
The problem was I didn't fall into any known categories for this type of behavior. I am a non-smoker, non-drinker, and I have even been a strict vegetarian since June 29, 1994. In early summer I started to develop other problems: for one a constant burning in my chest is another symptom of whatever it is that I have. I have been x-rayed, scoped, and prodded by some very well-trained specialists... all to no avail. To-date, my problems continue unabated.
I have been given a dozen different prescriptions to try and, so far, nothing has worked. My next scheduled appointment is for January 7. I can hardly wait till I see what they want to try next. (sic)
The first lesson I learned is only this. It is God who is in control. That sounds simple enough and something that everyone who has ever been to a Sunday school ought to already know. However, I now understand there is a great difference between knowing a truth and really "knowing" a truth.
Before I got sick I already believed and knew that the Lord was in control... yet deep-down in the place where we all live, I secretly thought that I could help Him along. You know, abstain from meat, don't smoke, etc. and physically (at least) you should be able to skate through life. Not so, at least for me.
I kind of feel like the soldier who the CO did not want to tell that his mother had just died. So, he devised a plan to get the news to him without having to come right out and tell him. He had the men all fall into line, and then he said: "Alright, every soldier who has a mother who is still alive take three steps forward." As the soldiers started to move forward he finished with, "Not so fast there Kowoski."
I feel like the Lord is saying, "All non-smoking, non-drinking, healthy vegetarians take three steps forward... not so fast there Johnson."
I'm not discounting the fact that we ought to try and take care of ourselves, but I am saying that it is still true that it is God who is in control!
I still have some other lessons to pass on but my wife just informed me that she is ready to go to one of our daughters houses anytime that I am. So, I guess that means that I am ready also. I will write more later.
(We are back and I will now write some more.) Another lesson I have learned is one that should have been learned by Kindergarten. And I not only believed that I had learned it, I also erroneously believed I was practicing it. However, as with the first lesson I have now come to believe there is a great difference between outwardly expressing appropriate sentiment and inwardly having compassion toward others.
My second learned lesson should be one that all people strive for. Put simply, be nice to people: especially anyone going through a hard time in their life. As I stated, I thought I was already doing this, I have now come to know better.
I will use my mother-in-law (Noriko) to illustrate my point. As a younger woman she had suffered a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed bi-polar. Because of her illness she was in and out of institutions throughout her life. This was all very tragic, and outwardly I commiserated with her plight, and in her presence I tried to use the correct sympathetic words to express concern. Although... (You knew there had to be a disclaimer coming, didn't you?) in my mind I always thought she could just "get over it." You know, pull her self up by the bootstraps sort of thing.
I even told Deb one time that if I were her husband I just, "Wouldn't have put up with it all of the time." What a simpleton I was. In the first place: what could I have done about it? Secondly: what if there were synapses that were simply misfiring in her brain? How did I ever think that she could "just get over it" by only wanting to be over it? And she did want to be over it!
I will now explain how I came to fully appreciate my second lesson learned. In many ways, even though I grew up rough, I am still gullible and trusting of people. Especially those who are supposed to be experts in their fields: i.e., doctors. So, when I was prescribed something by a man with an earned doctorate degree, I, without hesitation or further consideration on my part, took the medicine: big mistake.
I was into my sixth week of the twelve-week course when I began to feel completely unlike myself. Although I didn't know why. I was always anxious, depressed, couldn't sit still for more than a minute at a time, agitated, mentally confused... perhaps that last part I shouldn't try to blame on the medicine. (LOL) Anyway, I was a wreck. I had to try and find an answer. I sincerely hoped it wasn't that I was just losing my mind. But, I could not control my thoughts or emotions.
It wasn't as if I wasn't trying to. I practiced Philippians 4:8 and I claimed Phillipians 4:13 and I believed Romans 8:28... yet, nothing was helping. It seemed that I couldn't just "get over it," or "pull myself up by my own bootstraps."
In Noriko's case it was simply a salt imbalance in her body that gave her most of her problems. As long as she took her lithium pills it kept her in check and she was more normal. In my case I believe it was a side-effect from taking the maximum dosage of the drug, METOCLOPRAMIDE.
One evening, in a deep funk, I sat at my computer and looked up drug interraction and side-effects of all that I had been prescribed. GLORY! I was textbook for possible side-effects of the aforementioned drug: "anxiety, agitation, jitteriness, inability to sit still, and mental depression."
In one sense I'm sort of glad that I didn't know about any possible side-effects from the drug before I started taking it. Otherwise I might have believed I felt that way merely from auto-suggestion as I would have beforehand known some of the possibilities. Although, knowing how I felt, I would have rather never taken the drug.
You can bet your life that I quit taking the medication immediately upon reading the side-effects! Howbeit, I did learn my second and a valuable lesson, be nice to people. Perhaps what they are going through, they really can not help, simply because they "want" to.
The third and last lesson I learned from being sick is why do we get sick anyway? I can only (Biblically) come up with four reasons. And I have to admit that I could fall into any of the four categories. "Chastisement:" We have done something wrong and the Lord is chastening us in order to bring us back to Him. "Our weakness brings glory to Him:" At times people need to be humbled and learn again that He alone is our provider and the beginning and end of all that we need. "A time of testing:" As with Job, how did he hold up through his personal trials? "Vehicle that will be used to access Heaven:" Unless we are fortunate enough to be raptured; either injury or ilness will make this body incapable of being able to support the soul, and we will take our Heavenly flight.
There you have it. At least three lessons I have learned from being sick.
(1) It is God who is in control.
(2) Be nice to people.
(3) Why do we get sick anyway?
I sincerely hope that something I have learned from all of this you might be able to use. And if you already knew all of this, that might explain why I got sick and you didn't: there wasn't any of this that you did not already know and are practicing.
To any reader of this blog my sincerest wish is that you and your family all have a happy and blessed "NEW YEAR!"
Finally, if anyone reads this and does not already know Jesus the Christ as Saviour, I pray you will accept Him as your Saviour!