WINNIE-THE-POOH said...
Tuesday December 6, 2011 9:03 am
“I demolish my bridges behind me... then there is no choice but forward.” (Firdtjof Nansen)
There is always a time when change is marked and inevitable. Although “change” is the way of life, usually it happens so slowly that we hardly take notice. I mean, night gradually gives way to sunrise, and we have just seen the last few weeks of autumn gradually giving in to the approaching winter. I have two large Maple trees in my front yard and one in the back near to my house, early this morning I looked at all three and could find only a solitary leaf high in one of the branches which has refused to let go of its tenuous grasp. (Which reminds me, it is now time to get onto my roof and clean out my gutters.)
In my life as well as all who are reading this blog change is also happening to each of us as well. Sometimes it seems that we are in a sort of rut and the only change that is apparent is that one day passes into another and we are slowly growing older. For those it is that old acronym SSDD... same stuff different day.
For me though and within the last several days I have entered into a more apparent change and that is why I used Nansen's quote to begin my thoughts for this blog. Only time will tell if this is a good change or not. For me at least, and for now it seems to be. I mean, last evening I had gone to bed early and slept and dreamed sweet dreams for several hours. Of course, I also know that this could be the same type of sleep Jonah enjoyed just before he met a specially prepared fish. I do not mean to make light... but, I am not exactly sure what else to do?
A few days ago I also stopped reading all emails and I have quit going onto the computer at all, other than if I decide to write something for my blog. So, if you are any of the people who read these blogs and also have written to me... well, that is why I have not answered. I am not being rude, I just am not reading anything that is being sent to me at this time. Sometime in the future... probably after the first of the new year, I am sure I will decide to open my email account and I will answer everyone at that time.
I had a friend who told me a story about a person who had once given them an ultimatum. I'll not divulge what it was but the bottom line had to do with: " ...... if you ever do ... (something the ultimatum giver apparently found unpalatable) then, I'll not ..... ..." Sorry to be cryptic, but I am attempting to write and say I understood what the person telling me the story was saying. Because, in my heart, I also understood that there was something I knew that if I ever did again, I too could never go back. Well, it is done ):
I am off to work in less than an hour and with a couple of days off for the next two (yay). So I will end my blog today with an appropriate, sweet, and at least for me today a sad quote from my favorite little bear: "How lucky I am to have something [someone] that makes saying goodbye so hard!"(WtP)
In case I decide not to write any more on this blog until then, I would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year!
HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY
Friday December 2, 2011 3:27 am
In The Legend of Sleepy Hollow there is a line where Irvin mentions the witching hour, i.e., midnight. I just glanced at the clock above my desk and saw where I have been sitting here and listening to old songs with my headphones on (so I'll not wake a sleeping house) since before 12:00, and it is now nearing the devil's hour... 3:00 am. It's a good thing I am off tomorrow, that way I won't have to worry about being sleepy at work. Anyway, with the sound now turned to a lower level and while listening to "Ol' Blue Eyes" singing, In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning... I thought I might write something for my blog.
It's funny how a seeming random event can capture your mind. Earlier today (after work) as I walked in the front door Deb had the television turned to a music channel and Dean Martin was singing a song. After the song ended he introduced Frank Sinatra. I suppose it was that which caused me to want to listen to some of Sinatra's music, and this I started a few hours ago.
The Wee Small Hours of the Morning is a powerful song; yet, there is amazing few words used... only 63 in the entire song! (I had to count them, lol.) Yet, talk about a powerful use of prose in such economy of words. He has great pathos in his voice as he sings this song: I guess it is true that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And, at least for my taste, Sinatra was a better singer during (and after) this time in his life than ever before. Of course he recorded this song soon after his breakup and heartache over losing Ava Gardner. If you know that fact, then the next time you hear Frank's soulful voice singing...
In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think about counting sheep
When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all
… perhaps you will be able to imagine him (as I did) just a regular guy who can't easily find sleep because he's still heartbroken over the loss of a love ):
It seems that almost all great literature, songs, poems, sonnets, etc. all owe their birth to someone writing about that which was lost... usually a love. So, this early morning, as a writer to a reader, if you can't sleep either, I offer these few words of another sad song to further fuel your insomnia... sorry (:
Here are a couple of refrains from Colin Hay's song... I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
I don't usually do this.. and by “this” I only mean to quote people without their permission, unless they're famous and part of public domain. This morning though I am going to quote a somewhat anonymous soul... bucklee 7. I thought I wanted to hear Colin's song again and as I was listening I read several of the comments which followed this song. This comment, more than most, made me sad for this person I don't even know, so I thought I would type his words for my readers to see.
“i listen to this song, and all i can see is her face... i hear her laughter, her excitement, and even the way she breathed when she was fast asleep. i feel her snuggle up beside me on the couch to watch a movie, and the way she held my hand when we were out and about. i miss her so much, so damn much...”
I bet if bucklee 7 already has a good voice... because of his heartbreak over this unnamed love... I would be willing to wager that he could now sing a great song about lost love. Remember... to all of my fellow insomniacs, if something doesn't kill you outright... it only makes you stronger... yeah, right ):
The last few hours listening to Sinatra, Presley, Diamond, etc. has been bittersweet, yet somewhat cathartic for me.
I now sit in a mostly darkened room with George Jones singing into my earphones: He Stopped Loving Her today; and with only the soft light from my computer screen still keeping me company... I will do what another of my favorite male vocalists (Diamond) did to help him forget. So, to Neil, Elvis, Frank, Ella Marigby, and even Father MacKenzie (lol) … here's to you (:
