Chelsie...
Wednesday February 27, 2019 2:06 am
For the most part I think a lot of us tend to live our lives not thinking too much about others; at least those we might only know by name, and then know them only briefly... like two ships passing in the night on a large and darkened ocean. Such people are on the periphery of our radar and sometimes we pay nothing more than lip service to their very existence. Yet, they live lives full of wonder, hurt, happiness, sadness just like we do... that is; the full range of emotions all of us on this spinning ball hurtling through space share.
Right now because I can't sleep I decided to finish a letter I had started earlier this afternoon to a relatively young person who made several poor life choices; like all of us at times do. At this time I hope she is sleeping, and maybe dreaming of the day she will be free and holding her children once more.
Needing something more to do than just those things I find interesting or enjoyable, a few months ago I became a mentor in a program for prisoners throughout America. Chelsie happens to be the latest person I have written a letter and read and graded her lessons. In this program in order to help prisoners to grow spiritually they have Bible based lessons to complete. (I think maybe a lot of them teach me more than I might be helping them, I'm not sure?)
I think a lot of people see a prisoner and either think or speak aloud the phrase, "But for the grace of God go I." For me, that is more than a statement uttered without believing it to be true: those eight words are a truism for me.
Many of those I correspond aren't violent or hurtful toward others, these are some who because of poor choices have mostly just hurt themselves. To any and all who are out there in that condition my heartfelt prayer is that you might find peace and forgiveness: even if the forgiveness you need, is mainly for yourself.
My prayer this early morning is for peace and comfort, for all who are hurting... night.
Good Morning
Monday February 25, 2019 4:06 am
Joe and I have for a long time now been playing a game he apparently loves, "Whose couch is it anyway?" At least I think he must love that game as he so often takes over the couch, night after long night, after another long night. There is no contest really, he pretty much wins every time. If I felt like getting up from my office chair and walking into the living room I would prove that he once again won: as I would take a picture of his stretched out and sleeping body occupying the same spot I had a couple of hours ago.
Perhaps there is some good that comes from not sleeping long or well? I'm not sure there is... but maybe? I do read more, which is a positive. I do think more, not necessarily a positive. I do pray more often than I would if I were asleep. So, at least that's probably good. Just think, as you are lying and comfortably asleep in your bed with the covers drawn to your chin and dreaming dreams which shall not be remembered... I might have already been in prayer for you. If that thought brings any comfort, you can thank Joe.
Over the course of the last several weeks I have had two small surgeries to help me overcome the pain and discomfort of a 'large' kidney stone. The first surgery was to put a stent from my kidney to my bladder. You don't want to know how that was placed inside, no fun. Following that procedure was a few days of bleeding and a decent amount of pain every time I went to the bathroom.
The second surgery a few days later was to remove the stent and to break up the kidney stone. The surgeon said I might feel like someone had taken a small bat and used it to beat on my kidney. I assured him it could be no worse pain than I had already been experiencing. However, that surgery was splendid and almost no pain followed.
Imagine a 5.4mm stone (which in reality is very tiny, but still too large to pass through my body without help) about the size of a small eraser on the end of a pencil causing so much pain. We men like pretending we are tough, then something like this happens and I found myself sitting on the edge of my bathtub with my head hanging over the toilet fighting down the urge to vomit, and hoping the waves of pain and nausea would soon pass. Yep, I'm not so tough when something that small hurts so much. Initially once I awoke in a lot of pain that first morning I tried to tough it out as I wasn't even sure what it was causing the pain? But, after six days I told my wife I was going to have to go in to see someone because I had been continually hurting with little relief for nearly a week. After ten long hours in ER and several tests ran I was diagnosed with a stone too large to pass! Surely this 'monster stone' the doctor was describing had to be grapefruit sized! Nope, I soon learned it was just eraser-sized... the sad truth struck me hard... I am a wimp!
Recently we have seen several people we know and have known who has passed away. Later this morning a friend of mine, and one of the few really good guys I have known in my lifetime will be laid to rest; Chuck will be missed! Next month we are supposed to travel to the Atlanta area to see a guy (Eddie) I haven't seen in nearly 40 years! He has terminal brain cancer and he and his wife have been FB friends to my wife for a long time.
Eddie and I went to Beckley WV and joined the Army on the same day. He and I also (late one night) found ourselves slogging through some Louisiana swamps one black night as earlier that evening we decided going AWOL might be fun? It wasn't. After awhile of wading through swamp waters he turned back and turned himself in. I was more stubborn and didn't like the idea of quitting something I started, so I kept going and was finally arrested (at gunpoint) at a local airstrip. Yep, hindsight being 20/20... going AWOL wasn't a wise decision.
(When I sat down to type my only prepared thought was to say, "Good morning," after that I have been winging it and using this blog to catch up a bit.) I'm actually enjoying retirement. The other night I was invited to my third retirement party in less than 10 months of another who had recently retired. Even though it was fun seeing many I worked with I had zero desire to ever work again, I'm done with all of that!
Lord willing we have been talking about a trip to WV/Ohio area in late spring or early summer. We are hoping to see friends and relatives and just visit for a bit. I suppose it's because in the end I still miss those I've always missed, love those I've always loved... and I still hate the things I've always hated. You know, the more things change the more they remain the same.
Well, for those who are blissfully asleep, sleep on you lucky dogs... for me, I'm going to go back to the living room and try to squeeze onto a corner of the couch as Joe will grumble and complain as I try and shift him around a bit to make some room. Maybe I can find a rerun of Friends, or Frazier I can watch again. "Night friends, sleep tight."
