ARE YOU AWAKE? PLUS VIRGIL... MY FRIEND!!!!!!!
Tuesday April 9, 2013 3:26 am, 7:00 pm
About an hour ago, if I were a Native American I would have been singing Virgil's death song. However, as I type this I hear him, rather noisily, slurping water in the kitchen from his water dish.
I had been asleep for a couple of hours when Deb awoke me to say she thought Virgil was passing. Without going into detail as soon as I saw him I thought the same thing. Over the course of the next half hour as we petted, talked to and loved on him I could see his tongue working in his mouth so I knew he was thirsty. He was on his side and didn't appear that he could stand so I got him an ice chip and let him lick on that. I had gone back in the kitchen and got a bowl and filled it with ice chips and water and came back in and hand fed him a few more chips and that seemed to arouse him, and he struggled onto his feet :)
As I type this and for any person reading I want everyone to know something. Although I fervently do not want to lose him... I am prepared to call Dr. Moore and get him to our house to assist Virgil when I know for certain he has given up on life. The only way I know that is to try and follow the advice he gave me when he said a dog will let you know when it is time. (He said they will quit eating and drinking and you will know it's time.)
After I had taken him out back to make his toilet I watched him obediently stand beside Stella to take his turn scarfing down chicken which was fixed for him late last night. Although (as with all of us really) it could be any time... apparently it isn't quite yet.
As I was thinking about American Indians and some of their beliefs about death and dying, I thought I would include a Pueblo prayer for my blog this morning. Although this has nothing really about dogs in it, I thought it had some really good words about life and living.
Hold onto what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold onto what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold onto what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold onto your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold onto my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.
(Sometime later today I will add my video to this blog.)
Virgil no longer is suffering. This will be my last blog for awhile. I'm not trying to set a date or a time for I would have no way of knowing. The only thing I feel confident about is that the next time I do write I will tell why this blog ever came into existence in the first place, and the very important role that my friend Virgil played in this happening. I have loved him since he was a little puppy and I will continue to love him until the day it is my turn to die also.
This video I recorded of Virgil earlier today when I left work during lunch to come home and see how he was.
SUCH A LONG TIME AGO PLUS VIDEO
Monday April 8, 2013 5:44 am, 7:50 pm
It seems to me that life is marked by mostly either happy or sad occasions and dates and the rest of the time it is mundane and we are just caught in the act of living daily.
Thirty four years ago today my dad died... I was twenty three. Even though it has been so long ago I still remember every detail as if it was only yesterday. At that time he was just a little older than I am now... and to me that doesn't even seem possible.
I get off work today at 4:00 and I will add my video for the day at that time. I hope everyone has a good day today.
TRAIL # 2 CHARLESTOWN, INDIANA STATE PARK PLUS VIDEO
April 7, 2013 6:26 pm, 7:09 pm
I just got home from a short, but very scenic hiking trail at a nearby state park. I had gone with Brian, and Morgan... one of Brian's daughters. The trail was very pretty and I imagine after a good rain and during the summertime the views would be really great. This particular park has six trails and hopefully, soon, I will be able to hike all of them.
I hope my friend(s) and loved one(s) all have a great night and a fantastic tomorrow... and yes, having a fantastic tomorrow is not a suggestion: rather it is an order! :)
IT'S EARLY... WHO ALL IS AWAKE? PLUS VIDEO
Saturday April 6, 2013 5:23 am, 11:07 am
Good Morning! I wonder if there really
is any person who is a “horse” or “dog” whisperer? Where is
Dr. Dolittle when I need him? Because I am so tired... and were it
not for the fact that I love Virgil so much (and he is also sick) I
would probably be upset with him. However, I can't find it in my
heart to get that way with him. It's funny how love works :)
For at least the umpteenth time since
midnight (and whether or not umpteenth is a real word is immaterial
to me this morning) I would feel his big head lay on my
arm and I would once again get up. Then of course it becomes a
guessing game. I tried laying down in the floor with him on a
blanket... nope, not what he wanted. I tried coaxing him outside...
wrong answer! “Are you hungry” I asked? I'm not sure if I guessed
what it was or not but I did just finish feeding him small bites
(from my hand) of lamb and rice from one can and Alpo meat chunks
from another.
Did you ever see the movie Ghost
busters? Remember their slime machine? I look at my watch, it's 4:55
and I look at my fingers, they are coated in slime. Slowly I spread
my fingers apart and I watch them and it looks like I have grown a
slimy web filament between each finger. I suppose it must be a
combination of the juicy meat coupled with his saliva and I my hands
now look like Ben Chapman when he was dressed as the Creature from
the Black Lagoon. (Just as an aside... for a campy movie if you have
never seen that one you ought to try and watch it. It's sort of like
a song I was told about some time ago... it's so terrible it's
fantastic!)
So, I am sitting in my kitchen in a
straight backed chair at almost 5:00 in the morning with exceedingly slimy
fingers, and just Virgil and my thoughts: which by the way continually stray to
another time and place... and I find all that I can do is laugh. So I
do. He just stares at me which is even funnier. So, I lean down and
kiss the top of his head and feed him a bit more.
I thought that perhaps I had guessed
right because when I came in here to type he lay down in my doorway.
But, I was wrong. His head is now resting again on my left knee, so I
guess I will wrap this up and allow the guessing game to continue. This is so much fun and a real treat for me... honest. My fingers were crossed even as I typed that last sentence :)
I just took his picture to show you his
big, sad face against my knee. His mouth is still wet from the food :)
This first picture is a sign on the wall in the laundry mat. The second picture is the row of washers that this sign is directly across from. I walked beside one of the washers and the top hits me about mid-chest. Anyway, I figure if a guy or a girl comes into that place and they are big enough to just turn around and sit on top of one of these... well, that would be like the 800 pound gorilla, you probably would do well just to let them sit anywhere they like :)
LIVING YET AGAIN, PLUS VIDEO
Friday April 5,
2013 5:59 am, 2:18 pm
Upon awaking this
morning I had this thought. Were it possible to life life over, how
would we live it? In retrospection I would imagine if we had no
prescient knowledge we would most probably blunder through and make
the same mistakes that we had the first time around. And, other than
living twice as long as before... there would most probably be no
great benefit. However, if we could live yet again, having known our
shortfalls, bad decisions, and ultimately what it took in life for
one to be truly happy... that's the ticket. It would be like
Groundhog Day without all the conniving.
So, for the last
hour or so I have been sitting here in a darkened room listening to
music and watching some videos and just thinking about life. I found
a poem I thought I would include this morning about life and living
again.
If
I Could Live My Life Over Again
Next
time, I would try to make more mistakes.
I
would not try to be so perfect, I would relax more.
I
would be sillier than I have been.
I
would take fewer things seriously.
I
would be less fastidious.
Accept
more risks, I would take more trips,
Contemplate
more evenings,
Climb
more mountains, and swim more rivers…
I
would go to more places where I have not been,
Eat
more ice cream and fewer beans.
I
would have more real problems and less imaginary ones.
I
was one of those people who lived
sensibly
and meticulously every minute of their life.
Of
course I have had moments of happiness.
But
if I could go back in time, I would try to
have
good moments only,
and
not waste precious time.
I
was someone never went
anywhere
without a thermometer, a
hot
water bag, an umbrella
and
a parachute. If I could live again,
I
would travel more frivolously.
If
I could live again, I would begin
to
walk barefoot at the beginning of the spring
and
I would continue to do so until the end of autumn.
I
would ride more merry-go-rounds,
I
would contemplate more evenings and I would play
with
more children.
If
I could have another life ahead.
But
I am 85 years old you see, and I know that I am dying.
What's very sad is that this was a man who was full of regret for a life that he thought he could have lived better?
(Apparently
there is some dispute on who the author is so two different men are
credited: Nadine Stair and Jorge Luis Borges, regardless who the
author... he had some good ideas.) Now, I know what I would do if I
could live yet again. There is one particular lament I most often
think about when I have thoughts of regret or having second chances.
Truth be told even if I could live once more I'm not certain the
outcome would be different for me. However, I do know one thing... I would
not be sitting here this morning and only wondering: for I would have
risked everything to be given an answer. If
you could live life over what would you do?
DOGS, SLEEP, WEIGHT, PLUS VIDEO
Thursday
April 4, 2013 6:45 am, 9:20 pm
Last
night was a long night and Virgil was very restless. Thankfully, as I
type this he has climbed into bed and has fallen asleep. I fed him by
hand about an hour ago, but he didn't eat very much. I earnestly wish
if he is not going to be healed that the Lord would just take him
peacefully in his sleep ):
I
think I will also tell you another sad tale... this one though I
speak tongue-in-cheek because with Virgil it really is sad and with
this other one it just is what it is. My video yesterday I talked
about eating like an Ethiopian as I am trying to lose weight. This
morning, as I do every morning, I got on the scales... drum roll
please: up one pound! C'mon!!! How is that even possible? I mean I
have no doubt I will lose it (and more) today but I honestly don't
see how something like that is possible to happen?
After
today I only have one more day that it is especially hard with the
dogs because of my job. But, Saturday and Sunday I am off work so
that makes it much easier to care for them and keep them on some sort
of schedule. I thought I would leave you this morning with three
quotes about dogs, the first is funny, the second is poignant, and
the third one is completely true!!!!!!!
I
wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult – Rita Rudner
The
average dog is a nicer person than the average person – Andy Rooney
Heaven
goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog
would go in – Mark Twain
(Sometime
later today I will record and upload my video.)
NOT MUCH NEWS TODAY PLUS VIDEO
Wednesday April 3, 2013 7:12 am, 2:41 pm
Second night in a row I slept almost
all the way through. I got up at 4:00 to let the dogs out and then at
5:00 when my alarm had gone off... so that's pretty good. Today I go
back to work for three in a row before I am off for the weekend. If I
had set my schedule myself I couldn't have asked for Deb's trip to be
better planned than how it is. Because whenever I have to work and
come back home for the dogs it is much harder on them. As it is I
will come home on my lunch hour and let them out but it isn't the
same as walking them. However, of the days she is gone I will be off
for four and only working three and those three are all mid shift
hours.
My school work which is not due this
week until 11:59 pm Sunday is completely done except for one writing
assignment. It is a lengthy one but I will start on it tonight and
work a couple of hours an evening on it and finish on Saturday and
upload it then. So, all-in-all this week of school has been pretty
easy. After this week I only have five more weeks and then I will be
done until the fall semester.
I hope everyone has a good day today
and I will add my video for the day once I am home this evening.
ANOTHER BIRTHDAY :)
Tuesday April 2, 2013 11:51 am
Good morning everyone! Thanks to a
friend's advice I was able to sleep better last night: more restful
and for a much longer stretch than normal :)
I don't really have much to say today
other than I keep waiting for warmer weather and it always seems
like... maybe tomorrow? It is a pleasant and sunny day out, but the
air is still very chilly. If I didn't have the care of the dogs today
I would get in a long bike ride, but that looks like I will have to
wait until next week before I can do that.
Today is the first birthday of one of
my granddaughters, Clydie. Even though it would be a very long time
before she could read or understand what I am writing... I will do it
anyway, “Happy birthday, Honey!”
I hope all who reads this has a
wonderful day today!!!
IT'S EARLY, AND... IT'S APRIL FOOLS DAY! PLUS VIDEO AND PICTURES
Monday April 1, 2013 3:42 am, 9:44 pm
I guess I'm up so I thought I would
write for a little while and talk to anyone who might be out there? I
lay down about 11:30 and I must have fallen asleep rather
quickly... about 1:00 though I felt Virgil's face against my side.
(He sort of just lays it there as if he is resting.) I got up
thinking maybe he had to go outside, so I let him out. I called to
Stella but she wouldn't get up.
I came back inside and lay down... and
again I fell asleep. I had no idea how much time had passed when I
felt Stella scratching my arm with her front paw. She is different
than Virgil in that she is insistent. I looked at the clock: 1:37. I
couldn't believe it, maybe 20 minutes had passed since I came back
inside with Virgil.
This last time I awoke it was because I
could hear Virgil's short, sharp, breaths against my ear. (The last
time I came back inside with Stella I thought I would lay on the
floor in the living room as I thought this might cause both of them
to rest better.) This time it was 2:18. I wasn't sure, unless he was
just restless what he needed? Anyway I thought he might be hungry?
Stella heard me pop the top of the can so she came running too. As I
was feeding them the cat came in whining so I fed her also. (Even
though I had fed them before bed last night I went ahead and dropped
some extra flakes in the goldfish bowl just in case they might try
and splash around and find some way to wake me too.)
Now I am sitting in a somewhat darkened
room typing aimlessly to no one in particular. But, if you are out
there I say, “Hey.” (I just took Virgil and Stella's picture as
they followed me into my office. If I receive it in my email before I
stop this blog I will upload that picture also.)
Well, the 'Gang of eight' apparently is
on the brink of a major deal? Also, there was a 75 car pileup in
Virginia, and... apparently Michelle Obama “stuns” in her Easter
outfit. Just in case you enjoy the news that is what popped up on my
screen as I just opened another window. I also just read that,
“Shakira flaunts her svelte bod.” Hmmmm, try saying that sentence
five times very quickly. (After I thought of that I just tried it,
and it's really hard to do.)
Apparently now at least someone can
sleep. I just snapped my second picture and Virgil and Stella are
fast asleep in my office :) For a long time I have had some problems
sleeping. Usually it is two-fold with me. That is I can lay for a
long time trying to will my self asleep before I finally drift away.
Then, if I am awakened for any reason, regardless how long or how
short the time was that I got to sleep, I find it extremely difficult
to get to sleep again.
I guess I will try and do a little
schoolwork now. I hope all who cannot sleep and are reading this also
might find a way to be able to get some rest. Neither picture I took
has come through yet so later in the day when I record my video I
will upload those at that time also.
Another thought I just had is about how quickly time passes. As of today we have now lived in this house for three years! That doesn't even seem possible. Have a great day everyone!
I hope all of you gets a chance to find someone and play an April Fools joke on them. I was going to tell you about a really good one that I once heard... but I can't remember exactly how it went? I think something about, "your shoe is untied?" I don't remember now... but it was really good :)
