TWO ROADS... ANOTHER LIFE
Tuesday July 31, 2012 9:07 am
Life can change rather quickly. It was
nine years ago today that I became a grandpa for the first time,
Rachel was born... Happy birthday sweetheart! Today, nine years later
we have 13 grandchildren. Boys in that lineage are rather scarce as
we have only three: however, we have ten granddaughters.
There is one thing in particular in my
life I have so wished I could have changed... it is my continual
lament. Yet, I also know that if it were possible to change something
in our past lives that it would also drastically alter the lives we
are presently living. In spite of that, there are times that I drive
my own self crazy still longing for that change. Then, there are
countless times (11:15 pm last night for one example) when I become
so torn in my own longings and I know what I would have missed out
on?
I rang the doorbell at Steph's house (I
had to work today and Rachel wanted her present) to drop off her
gift. Through the small glass at the side of their door Hazel could
see me standing there and she shrieked, "It's Grandpa... and
Grandma is with him!" Once the door is unlocked and pulled open
I have three little girls and one boy all over me, and a baby still
in her mother's arms... reaching.
If someone who did not know the
situation and was viewing it for the first time, they would
assuredly imagine we hadn't seen each other for a very long period of
time, as the greetings are what would normally be reserved for loved
ones who had been apart for an extended time. In reality though...
this is the same type exuberance which is shown every time I see the
kids. There are cries of, "hold me" ... "let me show
you this" ... Can we come over?" ... "Can I get a
piggyback ride?" ... And when I finally really have to go,
"NO... don't leave!" Then, there will be two or three of
them with arms splayed out blocking the front door trying to keep me
inside. And this is the same type of reception I get at each of the
girls houses with all of the grandkids.
There was a movie called
Multiplicity... now that's what I need! Only I would only have wanted
one more of me, Keaton overreached!
I am leaving for work in a few minutes
and as I am sitting here pondering my life I have just realized
something that is true, in a sense there is two of me. In one life I
have a physical reality and the life I am happily living at present
is before me. At the same time I have an imaginary life and in that
one I am also very happy living the life of the road I never travelled, and still miss so very much!
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
Robert Frost began that wonderful poem
with those words, and in a later stanza he could have been writing about me this
morning as I sit here at my desk and type.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference
I hope anyone who reads this... has a
wonderful day!!!
"Papaw I Don't Want To See It" (OR) "It's Touching Me!"
Saturday July 28, 2012 8:09 am
Night-before-last I had picked Steph's three girls up after VBS to bring them to our house. All of the kids had been riding the bus to and from VBS, but the bus has no air-conditioning and in this sweltering heat I thought they could use a break.
Usually whenever I go anywhere in my car I try and take Virgil with me... so, when I picked the girls up he was in his usual spot beside me in the front seat. However, Hazel had not eaten her food while in the gym so she brought out her mac & cheese and a hot dog with a drink. I had her sit up front with me so she had room to eat, and Rachel and Hallie sat in the back with Virgil.
Virgil wanted to be with me so he put his head between the seats and tried pushing forward trying to get up front. So, I had to drive with my right arm between the seats blocking his path. Finally, after I had driven for awhile he must have accepted his situation and he relaxed the front part of his body and laid his head on my arm. Naturally, this caused his rear end to be high in the air as his head was down. Of course... this caused a wee bit of a problem?
Hallie started... and Rachel soon chimed in: "Ooh, what's that?" She said.
Rachel, "You know what it is Hallie, that's how God made boy dogs."
Hallie, "Well, I don't like it. Papaw... I don't want to look at it!"
Me, "Okay Hallie, then don't... just look out the window or something?"
(I suppose I ought to interject here... Virgil is all boy, if you know what I mean? God seemed to be especially generous to my little man. So, I suppose if you are in the back-seat of a compact car and there is a 60 pound dog with his head low and his rear high in the air... well, it might be difficult to see much else?)
Hallie, deepens her voice and begins a mantra: "Alright Virgil... you know the drill, "HEAD UP, BUTT DOWN... HEAD UP, BUTT DOWN... HEAD UP, BUTT DOWN! Over and over she keeps repeating this. I'm beginning to laugh and I look over at Hazel and she has her head down while taking small bites of her food and she is also grinning.
In the first place... I am wondering, where did Hallie ever hear the phrase, "you know the drill?" I am also laughing because of her phrase, "head up, butt down." Now, I'm not sure if Virgil became tired holding his body in that position, or if he finally understood her intent... even if he didn't grasp her words? Either way, he pushed up with his front paws and his head came up, and his butt went down. (That posed another problem.)
If Virgil, is "all boy" ... Rachel, is "all girl!" She is truly a girly-girl. I remember when she was not much more than a year old and I had given her a lollipop to eat and it caused her face all around her lips to become purple. I thought it was cute and I showed her her reflection in a mirror, and she immediately burst into tears, she didn't like being messy. From the time she was old enough to dress herself, all of her clothes had to be neat and everything in place. Anyway, she is not one to like things messy, gross, or out of place.
She had been sitting behind the passenger seat with her left hand resting on the rear seat. When Virgil raised the front part of his body, and sat down... he sat on her hand! She shrieked... "It's touching me!"
Now, I burst out laughing and Hazel also started laughing. All the while, Hallie is in the back seat and mocking... while Rachel continues to shriek.
Apparently Virgil sat down hard and he wasn't moving, I adjust my mirror so I can see her and by now she has given up struggling, and her head is laid against the glass and she keeps wailing... "It's touching me!" Kids and dogs are great fun!
On another note, I have begun something new today and it has to do with a lament that was sort of asked... and then answered by the actor Anthony Hopkins in a movie entitled "The Edge." In response to the sentiment Hopkins expressed, Baldwin derisively says, "Yeah... you'll be the first."
My goal is still a future one and truth-be-told I know that I will be met with abject failure in my attempt, but, if I never try... how will I know with certainty? IWBIFATDT...S... BTIAWMWBTYB(S)WABLI...ILISA!!! ... ILISA ... ):
I hope everyone has a great day today! This will be my first weekend off since before summer began that I can honestly say is my own... as I have no assignments which I have to get in. I'm not certain if I will post anything else before I get my final grades? If not, I will at least post something whenever they come in.
Fini ... Consumado, listo ... Es ist fertig gestellt ... etc. etc. etc.
Tuesday July 24, 2012 11:07 pm
Well, I suppose you get the point... I
am finished! That is, I am finished with school-work for the summer
and I don't start back up until August 20. I have been done for a little more than
three hours now, as I uploaded my last assignment at 7:45 pm. As of
this time, before everything I turned in this week in my classes gets
graded: I have a solid "A" in one class with a perfect
score, and only one assignment yet to be graded that is worth 50
points. Even if I would zero that one I would still be 950 out of a
possible 1,000.
Another class I am clinging to an "A"
with two large papers to be graded... they will make me or break me
as those two are worth a combined (possible) 250 points. Depending
upon how they are graded I will either have a solid "A,"
else I could drop to a low "B," but no worse than that.
My last class I am on life-support with
a very low "B." I am at 80.839 as of this time. I think(?)
the good news for me is all that I still have to be graded in that
class are some writings, as all of my actual tests are done. So,
we'll see how that goes?
I have been trying to find someone to
celebrate with... no luck for me tonight ): I guess if you live nearby and
you read this post, send me an email and we'll find some place to at
least have a late-night or early morning breakfast? I don't know why but I seem to
especially like a good omelette late at night... or the wee hours of the morning.
It has been storming here the past
couple of hours, nothing too bad for us so far, just rain, a little
wind... and lots of lightning. As I have watched out my window the
last little while it has been a very good show!
Well, it's not very late yet... so, if
you are nearby and want to go somewhere to eat... write me and we'll
go. Depending upon the time you write our choices might be narrowed
down to IHOP, or Denney's?
Hopefully I can get back to taking
Virgil out for some good regular hikes now that I am done with this summer
work. He was the first one I told this evening after I was done, and
then I promised him a good walk very early in the morning. The
temperature has been so high here that I can't take him out with me
later in the day, it's just too hard on him.
I might wait until after my final paper
is graded before I put it on my blog, but I think I will upload the
argument paper I wrote for my English class on the subject of
abortion on demand. I will finish this tonight by telling one story
to show how touchy a subject this is. I, along with every other
student enrolled in summer classes have had many different topics and
papers to write for peer-review. Every single paper that I wrote,
except the one on abortion was reviewed and commented upon by several
different students. Overall I think all summer long we had a good
exchange of ideas. However, according to the tracker on the
discussion board my paper was read by 20 different people... yet,
only one peer-reviewed it. I admire her for her courage.
Alright... a celebratory breakfast at
whatever restaurant that we find open is on me... any takers? I'll
wait for awhile to see if anyone reads this and
responds in time for us to go.
(clarkmatthews1@aol.com)
LAST POST DB
Monday July 23, 2012 10:41 pm
I thought it might be fun to reproduce my last post in the discussion board for my class in Criminology. Every week we are given two ideas to write about and then other students have to weigh-in with either their support, or criticism. To date, I have had 40 different posts to write in the three classes I have had for the summer.
The one that follows was my answer to what do we think a "future crime" in America might be? I have always been intrigued by Orwell and his ideas of "thoughtcrimes" and "thoughtpolice," so, in deference to his ideas... I wrote the following.
(Robin)
I think as society
becomes more futuristic and more Orwellian I think there will be a
lot of high-tech crimes in trying to hide personal identity. I
believe there will be a day (somewhere in the not too distant future)
where all governments will have made it their goal to track people
from birth to death and because of that all pregnancies and live
births will be monitored and tracked so they can keep tabs on
everyone. (Girls giving birth away from hospitals or government
centers will become illegal.)
As the government, all
governments of the world... including our own tries to catalog and
track every person on the planet there will come a time when there
will be whole black market industries where underground groups will
try to erase or completely mask a person's identity.
For many years VeriChip
has marketed and applied implantable devices under a person's skin in
order that personal information can be stored. One day, at birth all
people will be required by law to have either this device or one like
it implanted. Because many people will naturally rebel against such a
forced order, there will be black markets that spring up to help defy
all governments of the world.
I think it's going to be
a fairly scary future as "big-brother" becomes a reality to
everyone, and not just a tag-line for a movie. If I were alive during
that time I would not be helping those on the side of law
enforcement(?). If and when it becomes a crime to refuse such devices
as a means of keeping track of everyone, I would work against the
government and try to find ways to help people escape the
intrusiveness of big government.
(Karlei)
So are you saying you
believe that in the near future we will all just become a number or a
barcode to the government? And that they will use this number/barcode
to track us from birth to death including all sicknessess,
accomplishments, and anything else? That is completly crazy! It
reminds me of an old TV series I used to watch where this woman
actually had a barcode and a computer program inside her. However, no
matter how crazy it sounds-it is completely possible. I think that
is the craziest part of the whole idea. Identity theft is already
such a huge problem and I can see the government using this chip as a
way of monitoring and preventing identity theft. But, at the same
time I would think the chip would definately infringe on some of our
constitutional rights. Don't you?
(Robin)
Yeah... as crazy as it
sounds, implantable chips have been done in our own country, and with
human beings since 2002: at least that's when the general public saw
the first family who had it done, and that was broadcast live on the
Today Show. The Jacob's family of South Florida (who had it
done) along with their personal doctor did it in full view of the
cameras. Since that time, in England, Spain, and even certain bars in
Florida... people have been micro-chipped so that they can drink
"wallet-free" ... as all of their expenses for the night are
paid for by having their hands, or arms scanned. We have been, for
some time now, in Orwell's very scary future!
If you have already
read our Epilogue in Criminology Today you would have seen the
picture on page 427? (Schmalleger) Of course, the reason there are
people who have always made light of the subject and mocked is
because it will not be that obvious of a "mark." It will be
done the same way we have been micro-chipping pets for several
decades... and the same way at least 200 hospitals in America has
micro-chipped thousands of Alzheimer's patients, and others with
varying forms of dementia.
The "mark" will be an
implantable device, about the size of a grain of rice... and it will
be placed under the skin of the hand or the arm... and for those who
have lost limbs, it will be placed in their foreheads, so it will be
easily read by scanners. The VeriChip company is the same one that
Tommy Thompson, former U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services
under George Bush, had left his position in Washington to join their
board. After that, Thompson traveled to public schools all over
America and spoke in assembly halls and urged everyone to get
micro-chipped.
Under the ruse of global terrorism... all
governments of the world will make it law that people will have to be
tracked, and this tracking must be done from birth! That is the
reason I say that a future crime(?) will be having devices removed,
once implanted, else, trying to avoid being implanted in the first
place, and women will be trying to hide their pregnancies and having
live births in places where the government can not record them.
As
far as our Constitution being infringed upon... well, "yes and no"...
when that terrible future time begins to take place here at home and
abroad... we will no longer have a Constitution to be trampled upon:
at that time there will be a "New World Order" that every
president since Ronald Reagan has publicly spoken about. Remember,
human laws are only what the people in power at any given time say
that they are. So, without a Constitution... our "rights"
which had been granted by the Constitution (and the people in power
at that time) would no longer exist.
GETTING CLOSE TO BEING DONE!
Thursday July 19, 2012 10:48 pm
I thought I would catch anyone up who might read this blog on what I have left for school: that is, as of
this time 10:24 pm, Thursday evening. I have been off work for the last
two days and I have gotten an amazing amount of work done, even,
toward next week... which is also my final week for the summer
semester!
There are five separate papers I have
already written and saved to my email... I did that just in case the
unthinkable might happen and my system would crash? Monday all I have
to do is save them in rtf. format and upload them to the appropriate
classes and I will be about 60% done for the week and with four whole days off work. My
goal is to have 100% of my work done by Wednesday evening so I can
have the full weekend off for myself! My old bike has been calling out to me.
The other night our two oldest
granddaughters came to our house for a sleepover and they ended up
staying awake until about 5:00 am... they actually outlasted me by a
couple of hours. However, at 7:15 am I was shaking them awake and
singing songs to them: they were not real happy with me! It was fun
though having them over and tonight we have two more girls with us:
Hallie and Erika. As I type this they are in the other room watching,
"The Adventures of Tintin."
Tomorrow it will be Hazel and Leni's
turn... except I don't think Leni will come for the night: maybe for
a movie, but after that she will most probably want to go and be with
her mom. Tonight as Missy was dropping off the girls, Leni powered
her window down to wave at me. I hollered and told her it would be
her turn to stay tomorrow night.
She grinned and said, "Uh-uh."
I kept nodding my head (yes) and I told her I would see her tomorrow
and how much fun she would have. All the way (as her mom backed out
of the drive and started down the road) Leni was grinning at me while
shaking her head (no) and repeating, "Uh-uh... Uh-uh... Uh-uh"
... so, I guess she will not be staying after all (:
I think Virgil will also be very happy
when my school work is done next week, although I haven't been
ignoring him I haven't been able to take him for any long walks
either. I am hoping to make up for that a week from Saturday and take
him for a long hike with me.
One more thing... To date, I have one
class which is admittedly fairly easy and I have a perfect score in
it. I have another class and my grade at this time is an "A"
but I do not have a perfect score. And my hardest class... the one I
thought I would do so very well in: after seven weeks I have finally
brought it up to a low "B" ... 82.67 percent at this time.
My only goal in this one is to stay out of the "C" range (: However, once everything is done for the semester I will be honest and report my grades, regardless what they are?
Well, it's going on 11:00 and I think I
will go and join two of my grandchildren and watch a few minutes of
the movie with them. I hope everyone has a good night!
SHOES, GIRLS, PHONE CALLS, & ICED TEA
Tuesday July 17, 2012 7:52 pm
Have you ever fallen asleep in the
middle of the afternoon... then upon waking, everything seems
surreal? I haven't done that in a very long time, that is fall asleep
in the afternoon or have this strange feeling upon waking?
I got off work early this afternoon as
I had to go and pick up some tennis shoes and I hate to shop for myself, but it worked out okay. We had gone to a place where
if you buy one pair of shoes you get the second pair for half off.
So, basically for the price I might have had to pay for a single
pair, I was able to get two... one for me and one for Deb. Anyway, as
soon as I got home I meant to go back to my office and start working
on school work, instead I put on an old movie and fell asleep on the
couch while watching it. (I suppose I was physically more tired than
I realized?)
The doorbell ringing woke me and it was
two of our granddaughters being dropped off to spend the night. Deb
had set up three nights this week for cousins to stay together.
Tonight it is Rachel and Morgan, the two oldest girls: after that,
Thursday night will be Hallie and Erika, and that will be followed
Friday night by Hazel, and Leni... if Leni will stay? To date, she
has never been away from her mom for the night other than when Missy
was having Clydie. So, we'll see how that goes?
Two of the boys stayed the other night
as we are trying to get everyone over for a night before school
starts back. Of course, Manny, Savvy, Audrey, Trinity and Clydie are
still a little young for a sleepover. I know... I know... I am
supposed to be doing school work instead of aimlessly typing... but I
am still trying to get over this feeling of being weirded-out, as
soon as this feeling passes I'll do what I ought and start doing my work.
I hear the girls giggling and talking
in the next room... they are eight and nine going on 15? It's still
sort of cute listening to them. I plugged in a fan next to me on my
library table so I can hear their voices, but I can't make out what
they are saying... that only seem right? I wish you could hear them
just now, I don't know if it is something playing on television or
maybe one of them said something both thought was incredibly funny?
Whatever the reason, they both just laughed loud and long... in
unison (:
Often while I am at work I get personal
calls, the company I work for is really good and they say nothing
about it. Of course, if I am with a customer I answer and let the
person know I will call them back in a few minutes. Anyway, I still
carry an old flip-phone and about noon my phone started ringing and I
glanced down... and my heart skipped a beat! Tentatively I said,
"Hello." (The screen on my phone is small and I could only
(clearly) make out the first three numbers.) It was the wife of an
old friend and he was passing through town and had gotten turned
around, and was needing directions (:
For the next two days I am off work...
hooray! Of course my excitement is tempered by the fact that I will
mostly be typing and taking tests in order to get everything in by
this weekend. I keep a running total (each week) of the work I have
thus far completed... and what still needs done. According to my
notes as of this time (7:41 pm) one class is done for the week, and the
other two classes I have already uploaded 3 assignments for each
class. For English I still have one chapter to read, one quiz to
take, 2 peer review articles to write for two other students, and a
2,500 word first draft to write for my own peer review for an
argument paper which is due the last week of school.
The other class, Criminology, I have
three chapters to read. Three chapters! Who assigns three chapters to
read for one class and in the same week? Then, I still have two power-point presentations and three quizzes to take, and each quiz is a
fifty minute timed test! I'm already mentally exhausted just
reviewing what I still have left to do!
Next week is my last week for the
summer! Regardless the workload it will be an easy week for school
for at least two reasons. First, I know it is the last week so that makes
it easier... then, I have four days off work so that will make it a
lot easier to get everything done. The summer semester ends July 29
and the fall classes begin August 20, but, with only two classes a
week stretched out over 16 weeks it will seem like nothing at all for
me to do.
Well, I just found out we are out of
tea as I had asked for a glass of iced tea and instead I got flavored
water. Actually, I like flavored water as I drink it a lot... but, it
isn't that good when I was expecting tea? So, I am going to quit now
and go to the store and buy some tea, then when I get home, I really
will start on my school work.
I hope any who reads this and realizes
they just wasted ten minutes of their life that they will never get
back... forgives me for wasting their time writing something so
trivial. I guess I wasted your time and mine because I am feeling
disoriented? Did I happen to mention I am a little weired out right
now? lol
Have a good night everyone, your very
strange blog-writing friend is now gone tea hunting!
ONLY A DREAM?
Sunday July 15, 2012 7:09 am
Normally I like the rain... but, this
early morning it only evokes a feeling of melancholy in me ):
I awoke at 4:00 am to the sound of a
soft rain on my window, and as I lay in the darkened room just
listening to the sounds of the rain and Virgil's soft snoring sounds,
I was very sad for some(?) I have never had and never will.
For some odd reason even though we are
in the middle of summer, lying in the dark with the rain gently
falling it seemed like the fall of the year... and I couldn't stop
thinking of Thanksgiving. The "fall season" has for many
years been my favorite time of year.
Because I knew that further sleep would
now be impossible I got up and have been busily typing and getting
ahead for next week's school sessions. It is now close to 7:00 and I
have to leave for work in about thirty minutes so I thought I would
write a brief blog.
I once knew someone, maybe it was only
a dream... but, in my dream they categorized songs and such by times
and seasons? I also find in my own life I do something similar. So,
whenever I think of times and seasons, and especially the fall of the
year, I instantly recall one of my very favorite poems of all times,
Frost's: RELUCTANCE.
Out through the fields and the
woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the
hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I
have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.
The leaves
are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let
them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When
others are sleeping.
And the dead leaves lie huddled and
still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last long aster
is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart
is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'
Ah,
when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To
go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And
bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
I love the part... "... The heart is still aching to seek, but the feet question 'Whither'"? And I also like the entire last stanza, as Frost ends with an eternally unanswerable question!
I hope any who might read this has a
good and blessed day!
HELLO AGAIN
Friday July 13, 2012 8:41 pm
I know... twice in one day. Anyway, in
the past whenever I have had troubling events happen I have (at
times) asked some of you to pray with me. Would you please do it
again?
Maybe five minutes ago I learned
something, so this time I have a special "unspoken" prayer
request... God knows what it is though, and He is the one who
matters. Even now... as you are reading this, or at least later
tonight if you pray before turning in, please pray for some people
with heavy hearts.
Dr. Hyles used to say that, "...
the world is a veil of tears." And, of course, he was right. I
mean, there are good times and happy times, else life would not be
worth living. However, even in the good times there is still
heartbreak all around. So, as you read this, if everything in your
world is smooth-sailing right now: just take a moment and thank God
for that truth... then pray for those you know, and even ones you
might not know, who are carrying a broken heart around with them.
There are many verses in the Bible that
I like... but my favorite phrase in all the Bible is actually three
verses taken together. Christ is speaking and He says, "Come
unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you
rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly
in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is
easy, and my burden is light" Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV).
Good Morning!!!
Friday July 13, 2012 6:23 am
I awoke at 3:18 this morning and
couldn't fall asleep again so I thought I would write. I still had
two assignments left for the week and I decided I would finish those.
They are both for English and one is my thesis paper, a 2,500 word
document on abortion and that was followed by a 500 word... five
part outline, about how I would solve this issue in our country.
Yeah, right!
Anyway, I just finished those and now I
am REALLY awake and I figured I would pester any of you who might be
awake, either because of insomnia, else, you are in a different
time-zone and it's time to be up anyway. So... how is everyone? You
know, mom and dad... the kids? (Give me a break... I'm trying to be folksy this early
morning.)
I have a doctor's appointment in a few
hours... nothing serious, just a follow-up to one I had about a month
ago. That last one I was having a few places "frozen" that
were "suspicious?" Apparently I was in the Sun far too much when I was
younger. I do have a question for any one who is in the know? Why do
they call that stuff they do... "freezing," when it burns
like the fires of Odin! (There is some news I have for the doctor though, as he is examining my body if he ever finds anything "suspicious" on me where, "the Sun doesn't shine." Well, trust me... he ain't freezin' nothin' down there! He can put that can back into his pocket and go on his merry little way.)
The spots he froze(?) ... burned(?)
looked for about three days like I had been stung by the hugest wasp
God ever attached wings to its body. (Although, "hugest" is
a real word... I used it because it sounds like something one of my
grandkids would make up to describe something really big!)
Well, now that I am done for this week,
I only have two more weeks of school and I will be done... not only
for this summer semester, but for all future summer semester courses
as I have no intention of ever taking another one again in my
lifetime! In fact, I am setting myself up for something very easy
over the course of the next four years. Once I am finished with
everything I am presently doing I will have 13 hours... and I need 61
hours to get my degree. Because I am in no hurry, beginning with
spring of next year I am only taking 12 credits per year and that
will give me the balance of what I will need for my degree. Ahhh, as
far as school is concerned from this point and forward it will be the
life of Riley for me.
I think there is another reason I
started that last sentence with... "ahhh." I was typing
with one hand on the keypad and I was taking a long drink from a tall
glass of icy cold sweet tea I had poured for myself a few minutes
before. So, I say again... "Ahhh!" This next thought is no
more or less important than what I have already typed... and what
will follow this... because it is all crap thoughts anyway. But, I am
now going to tell you something about me that I don't think
I have ever publically expressed before? Ready, here goes: I really
like ice in my glasses! In fact, I can't hardly drink anything that
is supposed to be cold... unless, it is really cold! I even prefer my
coffee to be iced!
Believe it or not, though I like the
allure of living in days past... the thought that keeps me from
really wanting to have lived in those bygone days is the fact that
there was no refrigeration, and I would have had no crushed ice for my
drinks! I mean, it isn't the shorter life span of those days, nor the
higher incidence of disease... nope, it is the fact that they had no crushed ice! That my friend... is a deal-breaker.
Well, I guess because I have nothing to
say I will go and take my shower and dress for the day. I am
off work so I will allow myself to be somewhat scruffy and go without
shaving. Although I prefer running around in shorts, I will have to
dress like a big-boy today and wear jeans. It is because I have to
meet one of my daughters at church after my appointment, and they
sort of frown on men wearing shorts into the sanctuary (:
Through my window at the front of my desk I have watched the blackness of the night-time sky give way to another day... and now it is the beautiful light of a day just beginning... my favourite time of morning. Now I know for certain that is my cue to get started also. Forget that it is Friday the 13th and everyone have a great, safe, and happy day.
And remember, I love all of you! ... well, would you believe ... I love several of you... well, would you believe ... I love a couple of you... well... (in the words of Don Adams) "Would you believe... I love one of you?"
I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE FRIGHT!
Sunday July 8, 2012 4:21 pm
This morning I opened my
email and a relative of mine had written and said they saw my last
blog and was wondering if I was, "Okay?"
The first thing I did was to answer
them and tell them I was fine. Then, I opened to read what I had
written in case I had completely lost my mind and wrote something I
didn't mean to write? I read it through and I guess it was a little
dark, but I couldn't imagine it was anything that bad? However, I am
glad they were concerned and I thought that sometime later tonight I
would try to pick a very cheery subject and bury that earlier blog in
my own little ash pile of history. I do that by writing another blog
on top of what I had written before and it effectively hides it from view. (You
know, sort of like what a cat does in its litter-box as it hides bad
things.)
However, after seeing what I just saw I figured I would not wait until tonight to write... I'll do it now, while the scary image is still fresh in my mind. Not that I'll ever forget. I'm much afraid that sight is permanently seared into my brain! If only I can get my still trembling fingers to find the right keys?
"Do you want to see something
really scary?" That was a line from a very funny Twilight Zone
episode a long time ago. If you have never seen that one you ought to
try and find it... it's really good. However, in my own backyard just a few minutes ago I saw
something that would rival Aykroid in that particular episode.
Before this day began I had no intention of writing today...
after finishing all of my assignments for school this week...I
was trying to get ahead for next week. Sometimes, plans change and it started raining
outside: so I decided to take a break. (I had something else I wanted to
do.)
I went outside (in my backyard) as
I sometime do (if it is raining hard enough) to shampoo my hair. Is
that odd? Should I have put that in writing? Am I crazy... just
asking? lol Well, it wasn't raining hard enough to wash my hair but I
thought I could at least get a good close shave in the natural
outdoor light.
I came back inside to get my razor and
I lathered my face and started outside once again. Then, I passed our little hall closet and I had a
brilliant idea. I would get that small mirror I have seen Deb use
before and I would set it on our umbrella table... and I figured I could probably
get a closer shave that way.
(There is a friend at work and if I go
more than three or four days without shaving she will tell me that I
am beginning to look a little scruffy? So... I figured I would beat
her to the punch and get a close shave before I go back to work
tomorrow.)
Anyway, I started shaving and as I was
doing it I saw that the mirror had another side to it... now, my face was real
close to the glass. I slowly spun it around, and... "YAGGHHH!" Now,
I'm not sure if I screamed or not, but if I didn't, it's only
testament to my nerves of steel! If you have a mug like mine and you
SEE IT MAGNIFIED!!! (MAGNIFIED BY SEVERAL TIMES!) I swear, it's not a pretty sight!!!
I think I'm going to have to watch real
close the next time I see Deb using that mirror to see if she is
aware it also has a side that magnifies a person's face? I mean,
surely, no one in their right mind would look into one of those things on purpose? Such a sight has to be worse than Dante's second circle of Hell!
I guess
if one day I am in another room and she is putting on make-up while using that infernal mirror and I
hear a terrified scream... then, I'll know: "Yep, she just found out
it has another side."
HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND...
Saturday July 7, 2012 11:14 pm
A few minutes ago I just finished
making something for one set of the grandkids... I still have two
more of these same projects to build but I'll have to wait until I am
off next Friday to get those done. I suppose I ought to finish up
what I still have left to do this week for school, but I really
"don't wanna" do that.
Instead of doing what I ought I think I
will waste a little time, something I am usually loathe to want to
do... and I will put something on my blog. Lately, more so than usual
I have thought of just never writing again. The honest truth is that
few people read what I write anyway so at times I think it is a
complete waste of time. Then, there are other times I understand that
I mainly do it for myself anyway. Mostly what I write is drivel, and
I not only accept that but I embrace that truth. So, I write what
few read and say what is mostly unimportant... yet, I sometimes find
solace in doing this.
I'm not altogether certain why (I
suppose it is because I wrote that I write and no one listens) but one of
my favorite songs when I was still a young man just popped into my
head... The Sounds of Silence. Others have also recorded this song,
but I really like the way Simon and Garfunkel recorded it. The
opening stanza of the song is especially good:
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've
come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left
its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in
my brain
Still remains...
Within the sound of silence
In
restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of
cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar
to the cold and damp...
I think I was ten or 11 when I first
heard the song. I won't go into it now but there were certain things
going on in my life back then and I remember the first time I heard
it played on the radio I thought it perfectly fit my life.
Even though I was awfully young it was
not uncommon for me to be out all night and just prowling around, and
I came to accept that this was a normal life... at least it was
normal for me. So, when I first heard the song and its opening lines
I thought it had been written for me? "Hello darkness, my old
friend... I've come to talk with you again..."
There are times that even today I have
a need to just go out at night and be alone... and if not alone I
like my little buddy, Virgil, to be at my side: he's really a good
friend to me!
Thursday July 5, 2012 11:33 pm
It is now approaching the witching hour and I am actually going to call it a night. I will be back at it at 5:00 am... and start all over: ugh! I started on my school work just as soon as I got home this afternoon and I have been at it all evening long.
I still have left for this week: one peer review for a student, (I just finished another one a few seconds ago) one 1,350 word "rough draft" to write, one MLA/APA exercise to write, five more more DB posts in three different classes, and one 2 hour and fifty minute timed test to take. After that I will be done for week five.
If I live until next summer you can etch this next truth onto two tables of stone: I will never take another summer semester class! I will only plan spring and fall classes... after this, they will seem like a walk in the park. "Walk in the park..." now, that sounds like fun (:
So far they have given free reign on what our topics are that we can write. To date I have written on abortion, stem cells, hate crimes, etc. Imagine which side I have taken... then, imagine the fun I am having reviewing and being reviewed by young college students! It's a lot of fun for me, and I mean that. It is just that with everything else going on I can't enjoy it fully like I might otherwise have done.
Before I turn in for the night I will write one other thing. I have a page of Irish sayings and blessings I have saved for years. I like reading them. Yesterday I had as my thought a nice quote from the Notebook. Tomorrow I have selected to keep me occupied one of the sayings from my list of Irish works.
"May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten."
Though it is a nice sentiment... I already know I will only be 50% successful with this one. With great joy I will accomplish the first part and will find the second one nigh unto impossible to achieve ):
Goodnight... all (:
RESTLESS
Thursday July 5, 2012 5:57 am
I don't really have anything important to write about... kind of like hundreds of posts before this one I suspect. (lol) But, I had gone to bed very late and awoke before three and I am now sitting here just waiting until time to leave for work, so I thought just in case there are any other wannabe insomniacs out there I would write and say, "Hi."
Do you like dreaming as you sleep? Sometimes I do , but there are other times... not so much. Last evening was one of those, "not so much" times ):
The dream was actually pleasant, and I can only describe my feelings as I slept as content. However, awaking to a different reality... bites! I guess it is nothing that I will ever get used to.
I trust that everyone out there had a happy 4th of July? At least I hope so. Well, I have already shaved and showered now I need to finish dressing and then it's off to work for me!
This next Christmas if we are still here... will be the 18th year we are scheduled to see A Christmas Carol at Actor's Theatre. So, in order to help my spirits... and perhaps yours if you did not sleep well either, I have copied and pasted a line from Dicken's. This is after he awoke from the last spirit visiting him.
"I don't know what to do!" cried Scrooge, laughing and crying in the
same breath; and making a perfect Laocoön of himself with his stockings.
"I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry
as a school-boy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to
every-body! A happy New Year to all the world! Hallo here! Whoop!
Hallo!"
That will be me for the rest of the day, "Hallo here! Whoop! Hallo!" Yeah, that will go over real well with all of the customers I meet at work.
..... ... .. .... ...... .... . .... .... ... .... ....!!!!!!!
Wednesday July 4, 2012 8:55 am
Before I leave for work
this morning I wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday. If it
is as dry in your area as it has been in this part of Indiana, then
try and stay safe if you set any fireworks off.
To be honest there are
many times when I wonder why, with all of the sin in our nation that
God still allows us to stand? Yet, here we are, 236 years later and still going strong. I heard a preacher many years ago make
the comment that if God does not judge America, He would have to
apologize to those who lived in Sodom and Gomorrah?
I echo that person's
message... yet, with all of the wrong that is obvious: there is
another side to America that is right. Less so with this president
than any other since Carter... we still support Israel, and that is
something we must do. Israel, and its many people have for a long
time lived as if there is no God... nonetheless, there are still
promises from God about what He will and will not do for those
nations who either bless or curse His chosen people.
The other thing that we
still do... and this is not done by the goodwill of our government,
rather it is those believers who attend churches that still preach
the Gospel and dig deep into their pockets and support missionaries
both here at home, and in foreign nations throughout the world. It is
my opinion that without those two things still continuing in this
country, we would definitely be struck down by the hand of God.
Think about it...
Hollywood, San Francisco, New Orleans, just to name three areas in
our nation among many where all things against God are written about
and produced, all manner of deviant lifestyles are practiced, and
much black arts are not only still practiced, but are heralded as
right?
I started to stop with
the last sentence and publish this... then I thought I ought to
explain something. I really do know what's right: probably like
everyone else who will read this also knows. Perhaps what I know is
innate, maybe it is also learned? (Of that I am not sure.) However,
knowing what's right makes it very easy to see what is wrong, then it
can easily be exposed as sin. (Like what I did in writing about
three cities in our nation.) On the other hand, just because I know
what is right, does not mean that I do right?
I just didn't want to
leave this blog with the idea that anyone could read this who doesn't
know me and falsely believe that I am some stalwart in the faith: it
would be nice though if that were true. For a very long time my
problem is simply... No mas que un sueno, pero mi corazon sabe lo que
quiere.
I was going to include
another Allen poem, only this one is not Edgar: rather it is
Elizabeth... At Last. But, I have to dress and leave for work. So, happy
4th to everyone!
One more thing: the, "muy
poco espanol" that I know might mean that the phrase I wrote
above speaking about my problem... might not be exactly what I
intended to write? So, if you read this blog and actually know the
language and you do not merely play at it like I do, if that phrase
says something completely buffoonish, just chalk it up to many of the
other things I have written in the past.
TIME IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS
Monday July, 2, 2012 6:24 pm
If it's possible to have
fun while at work... then, for several minutes this morning I did.
And, I seldom do that at work: other than when I try to entertain
myself by people watching? But, that's another story.
Anyway, a lady came in
within five minutes of my clocking in this morning (about 6:45 am)
and she wanted two different installs. Naturally whenever you
have to spend some time with someone you usually end up talking about
other things besides what they are purchasing. So, I was filling out
the contract and as I wrote in the date I realized how late it
already was into another year (and of course our last one... don't
forget the Mayans) and I suppose I gave a little shake of my head.
(She asked me if anything was wrong?)
I told her, "No,"
it was just that it seemed like only yesterday that I was filling out
these same contracts and it was May, and now it's already July. I
told her according to that by the day after tomorrow it will be
December again. She laughed and I decided to tell her about Einstein,
and a few other theorists and their ideas about time?
She seemed nice and
genuinely interested, and she let me go on for quite awhile. So, I
finished by reminding her that according to Einstein those of us who
live in Jeffersonville, Indiana are approximately 400 feet higher
above sea level than those who live in Jacksonville. So, if he and
other like minded physicists are correct... we could fractionally
increase our life span by moving and living near the ocean? That is
because time passes quicker for those who live in higher elevations?
I know... physicists!
After I finished she said
she wanted to ask me a question, as long as I didn't take it the
wrong way? I assured her she could say anything she wanted and I
would not be bothered at all. She asked me if I knew those things...
and could talk that way... what was I doing working at .....? I
started laughing and then she did as well.
I told her the same thing
I have told everyone else who has ever asked me that question. I told
her to end up where I'm at, and at this late stage of my life is testament
to the fact that I have made a lot of very bad decisions in my
lifetime! We both laughed again.
In reality I do not mean
to denigrate the company where I work... and I also told her that. I
said that they have been nice to me and they compensate me fairly for
the work that I do. Anyway, it was a fun 10-15 minutes discussing
different theories with her this morning. That conversation started
me thinking about a more realistic way to "increase everyone's
life span" rather than living at sea-level. In addition, a
person would have to live for millions of years near or at sea level
before any fractional difference could ever be known anyway... and
that is if their theories are correct in the first place?
But, recently I have been
reading some interesting ideas from three different people...
Draaisma, Boyd, and Zimbardo. And I think there really is some
practical advice in what these three write, and I want to pass that
along to all of you.
There does seem to be a
paradox that time really changes for us depending upon what it is
that we are doing. Example: think of a person that you have really
loved in your lifetime. Are you thinking of that person now? Okay, if
you are reading this and are married... and the person who first
entered your heart and mind is your spouse: then, my friend... you
are in the best of all worlds! (That has nothing to do with my little
test but I wanted all of you who just thought of your spouses to know
how very lucky in life you have been.)
Okay, here is the test.
The person you just thought about, the last time you were with
them... did time "fly-by" and you couldn't imagine it was
already time to separate? Have you ever spent time talking to a
true-love and day changes to night... or night to day and the hours
passed as if mere minutes? Even though you might have spent hours
with them... it passed too quickly! Of course, that is perception
simply because you love what you have been doing... which is being
with that person.
Now, think of a very
unpleasant person you recently had to spend time with... NOW, NOW, if
the person you are thinking of is your spouse... well, you, my
friend, are in big trouble! Anyway, that person you were with or that
hateful task that you did might have only taken minutes... but it
seemed like hours? Well, according to the men I mentioned they might
have a reasonable answer for you and a way to make your life more
enjoyable. I think it makes sense if you try to think of it like
this. If you truly try to live in the moment... actually experiencing
life, and not living on auto-pilot, as new memories are stored life will begin to stretch out before you... even as it did when you were a child. (That's why it doesn't bother me when Deb derides me for still acting like a kid... that's my excuse. lol)
I probably can't, in a
few words, do justice to what they teach, but I'll try. Basically
they suggest that your life seems to stretch out forever when you are
young... because you are experiencing everything for the first time: all is fresh with new memories. They believe that is why
first loves, first jobs, first few days of a vacation, etc. etc. etc.
seem to go by more leisurely and relaxed, slower if you will.
However, once a routine takes over and everything is done by rote and
no new memories are being made or stored... then "life flies by."
That... is the paradox! Be with the one you love while experiencing new and fun things and time itself will "fly" ... yet, "life" will be stretched out before you and seem to last longer!
But, do routine and boring things without new memories... and "time" will drag, but, one day you will see that "life" has flown by! The way you will see that is one day it is March, and the next day it will be June.
So, get out of your rut,
and start making new memories: keep things fresh and different. You
might try changing your office routine, so it is not the very same
thing day after day. Shop in a different store, or change the way
that you shop in your own. Change what it is that you "always
do" at home. Take a new lover... OKAY, OKAY, I thought that if I made my list long enough I could slip that one in unnoticed? (I'm only teasing
about that last one, don't really do that!) I now suspect I know what
the topic of next Sunday's sermon might be? However, the joke is on
them, because I won't be there anyway... I'll be doing school work (:
To any and all who might
read this... have a relaxing and pleasant evening by finding some way
to make new memories. Of course, as you are doing that occasionally
think of me as I will be beginning on my school work just as soon as
I hit, "publish." Then this evening, because it is a hateful and
repetitive task I will be doing, over the course of the next 6-7 hours... well, I'll probably be
about 60 years old when I quit all of this later tonight.
STORMING
Sunday July 1, 2012 8:33 pm
Since fairy early today I have been sitting at my desk and typing trying to get everything done. My desk faces two windows. One window is on my immediate left and the other is ahead of me and at about the 2:00 o'clock position. I saw that the sky is growing black and it is not from the lateness of the day... a storm approaches. All day I have been thinking about people I know and though they are never far from my mind or heart, those I love most have been especially on my mind because of the recent storms.
I sincerely hope their power is back on in their homes and this evening they are comfortably curled up on a sofa in an icy-cold living room and sipping tall glasses of sweet tea! At least that is what I am imagining in my mind for them. Of course, if they happen to not like tea... well, Coca Cola ain't bad!
Normally I love the sound of thunder, especially the long deep rumbles like what happened mere seconds ago. Tonight though I don't appreciate it nearly as much as otherwise I might. Virgil... my dear little friend doesn't like it at all. He just came running in to me after he heard it. I stopped typing long enough to cup his chin and scratch his head, then I told him everything will be just fine. Apparently he believed me because he walked to the front of my desk... turned 3 circles, sighed deeply and is now resting his big head on his front paws. He's really a cute little guy!
Thankfully I got everything done this week for school and I even cheated a little on next week. But, don't tell anyone... that's just between us! Technically we aren't allowed to work ahead. However, tomorrow I start back on six straight days and a few of them are mid shift which completely breaks up my day. And trying to get in three classes (double work) is almost impossible if I don't have a full day off to stay on the computer.
Anyway, I read ahead on one class assignment and I typed and uploaded the full schedule for that class, then tomorrow after I get home from work all I have to do is upload all of those assignments. That way it only leaves me two classes, with just four sessions to turn in and not six by next Sunday. Although that will certainly keep me busy for the week, it is more doable!
I seldom do this... but I will tell what my thought for the day has been. For many years I usually select some phrase, thought, part of a speech, etc. out of pieces of literature that I have read and enjoyed. Then, I try to dwell on that and I have found it keeps my heart and mind less troubled if I can stay otherwise mentally occupied. Today it has been a line from Longfellow. The part I am quoting was not the full phrase... but just the part I have been rehearsing in my mind, "...Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart."
Sometimes it's hard for me... but I keep trying to do that... especially the last part. Maybe old Longfellow would be proud of me?
Well, I was going to include a couple more thoughts but the radio started to shut down and the lights dimmed... I will try to upload this in case we lose power.
I always and forever wish nothing but happiness and great joy for those I dearly love!!!!!!! It is now hailing... so, I will go: see ya.
